NQ 9/30

Think I'm looking at a bear flag + head & shoulders in the making...

The backbreaking climb up today from yesterday's plunge is telling of a market that's not taking the failed bailout very well YET.

Having said that, as I'm writing, I'm seeing a failed bear flag.

Still a laborious climb up though.

A confused market where bears are not sure if the market has seen its worst yesterday and are covering, and bulls are baffled, beat and BROKE?

If NQ doesn't hit and stay above 1575, it might just give the bears some nerve to hammer it down on the bulls.

As always, I'm waiting for the PLUNGE.

To 1540, then 1520?

Let it be 1520!!!

Wonderful Gmargtrader

After this posting yesterday, gmargtrader sent me something that I could really use (see chart below - to see enlarged version, please visit gmargtrader's blog at http://gmargtrader.blogspot.com/ or click on link above), with the following comment:

I have tried to make a picture. You can find it here:

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf7MiEULQN8fNIPGgsBZpw-EsNCb1bt9i9hJKquBHpPa7OvAAVrzHv5ho64YkkxOl8p8jH11Z8_c_Gl1HXW2kE7-_RMu9Wft8gTES_Iq9bbc5qLKHRfxnT-9a8WzSpFV4Q6u6j1og6VULp/s1600/Sep+26+NQ+(5min)_mov.JPG
or http://gmargtrader.blogspot.com/

the first picture.

If you want I can write something about SL settings.

Greetings



A big THANK YOU, gmargtrader! :-)

Al's Home!!

Alberto's back home. On vet's recommendation, as tomorrow is a public holiday here. He will be brought back to the clinic on Thursday to continue his treatment.

I've decided to remove my rant about the clinic, because after staying there with Al for almost 5 hours, I saw how gentle the staff were with the animals there. They were really concerned about stressing Al and so had decided not to do anything to him other than giving him what he absolutely needs to get better.

Al's much better now.

He was REALLY fierce. On the cages of the animals placed there, there would be instructions on handling - usually notes like "pls give XXX diet", "renal problem", etc.

Al's was "FIERCE".

Seabloke dropped by (a very pleasant surprise, coz I told her I needed no company and that she didn't have to take the trouble to get there), and was utterly amused by the label.

Anyway, I had to help change Al's food and towels coz any other hands that get pass the cage door get scratched or bitten.

In that few hours that I stood by his cage, I saw huge dogs and all kinds of felines went in and out of the surgical room and their cages, being handled by just one staff each. When they needed to take Al's drip out, 2 big male nurses and a lady nurse were deployed to subdue him. Al's big and mighty powerful, extremely antagonistic and his attacks extremely deadly when he feels threatened (just like the owner).

But he's home now. And he gets to sleep with me tonight :-)

Thanks, Harry, for your note :-) Appreciate it.

NQ (Simulated) Trade 9/29 - Done For The Day!

1 trade (highlighted in green on chart below)



Nearly 10 points in a matter of seconds - the power of the bailout saga (D reaped 5.75 points all in 40 seconds, the moment he was out of the shower, when he saw me going in. Difference is, his is REAL PROFIT!)

I'm done following the bailout drama.

Turning in early.

Visiting Alberto tmrw.

FX (Simulated) Trades 9/29 - Close All Positions

Closed EURJPY - Daily chart's making me feel uncomfortable:


EURJPY Daily


Closed AUDJPY shortly after that


Then GBPJPY as well


Daily charts for both AJ and GJ are ok (see charts below), but Alberto is not (throwing up, extremely quiet, extremely lethargic, not eating). Bringing him to the vet, and decided to close all positions in case I don't get back in time before US market opens (which tends to mess up my PnL).

AUDJPY Daily


GBPJPY Daily

Total: $4549.19

FX (Simulated) Trades 9/29 - New Short Entry

Opened new short position GBPJPY.


NOT closing previous 2 positions yet.

It's clear that I'm avoiding the USD.

Charts on USD crosses are just NOT pretty (hourly's ok, daily's ugly, and that's enough to make me avoid USD).

Fundamentally, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with USD FOR NOW.

FX (Simulated) Trades 9/29 - Update on 9/26's Trades

Trades from 9/26


PnL went into negative territory on 9/26 after US market open, but came back up today.

There's no reason to close position now since charts are looking ok.

On daily charts, both are showing a bear flag; on hourly charts, supports are a distance below.

Monitoring and will close if supports on hourly charts are seen to be able to hold price up.

AUDJPY Daily


AUDJPY Hourly


EURJPY Daily


EURJPY Hourly

Regarding My Simulated Trades on 9/26 - Comment and My Response

Regarding my posting on my Sep 26's simulated trades

gmargtrader asked: Where in the markets occur movement?

I'm not sure I understand the question, coz what's visible to me is that there were quite a few movements on NQ (on 5 min chart, that is. I look at the 5min after 930am EST. Before that, I look only at the 30min chart) on Sep 26.

I've highlighted the movements in green on my 5min chart (click on chart to see enlarged version):

Depending on the timeframe we're looking at, the market can be seen to be making directional or sideway movements.

On the 5 min chart above, NQ is visibly going sideways during the 10:00 to 12:00 period.

That said, if you're just scalping, you'll still be able to get something if you lower your profit target.

I'm going to talk a little about the sideway move from 1000 to 1230:

- As I mentioned above, if I choose to scalp even a sideway move (I'll play a ranging market if the range is not too narrow), I can still get something from this time frame (which I often do for ER2 before it was ICED).

- In the case of Sep 26, however, I wouldn't trade the downmove at 1000 coz I don't like to trade what looks like retracement to me (since NQ has been on an upward move until 1000, I will assume that its first move downwards is a retracement).

- I'll watch the retracement and see what happens next.

- If NQ were to continue to go up after the correction, I'll presume that the uptrend is still intact.

- What I'll do next is to look for the 1st resistance. If the closes resistance is the resistance that I've identified on my 30 min chart before market open, and is not far away from the current price, that will tell me that the upward move is probably going to be limited.

- If indeed NQ doesn't break out of this resistance, I'll assume that NQ will start trading in a range for a while, especially if it's around the 11am to 2pm window.

- I'll usually NOT scalp this range, unless I'm really desperate (like if I've had losing trades before that and I'm looking to offset those losses).

- During this period that it's ranging, I'll watch NQ's movement to see if it is gathering momentum to PLUNGE (refering specifically to Sep 26's movement only).

- If NQ has attempted to hit the highest reistance (Navy blue line on my chart) and fail to break up, i'll be more confident of trading down after 2pm.

- If NQ starts to make lower highs and lower lows during this ranging period, and has never once gone up to the highest resistance to test it, I'll be more cautious and maybe even hesitant to make a move after 2pm - because I'll be expecting NQ to make an attempt to test the highest resistance after that.

And that was exactly what happened with the trade I took at 2pm (shaded in blue - the 2nd blue rectangle).

- I got out at around 1661 although my initial target was 1656, because I wasn't sure that NQ was going to plunge, given that it's not tested 1668 (the highest resistance in navy blue line).

- Had NQ been less hesitant when it was coming down from 1663, I would have held on to my trade and wait for it to hit my profit target of 1656.

But because:

1) the move was not decidedly downwards,

2) the debate between the 2 parties going on (something I notice is that it really doesn't matter what the senators say, I was watching DOW as the 2 senators took turn to speak, and DOW has gone up and also down for each, and the contents of their speech has created no significant movement in DOW, which tells me that market sentiment takes precedence over real-time new info and data. That said, I still don't like to stay in a trade when key events like these are taking place)

3) NQ has not tested 1668 resistance

I closed my position at the point that's half of what I initially wanted to take.

Of course, as fate would have it (always!!), NQ indeed went down to 1656, where I had place my initial profit target.

Now, if you look at the 2 green rectangles that I've drawn (the ones that are separated by my blue rectangle), combine the 2, and you will see a big move downwards there.

At 3pm, a morning star (well, not exactly a morning star strictly speaking, which is just a name to me, it's the market psychology underpinning the pattern that I'm paying more attention to) formed (in grey circle).

Morning stars at swing lows are usually reliable in foretelling a significant move UP.

NQ indeed went on to hit a high higher than 1678 after that.

I want to talk a little about NEWS at this point:
The news that accompanied the move up were not particular bullish, in my opinion. Some would disagree, coz the indices were going up, and since there MUST BE A REASON that they were going up, it's gotta be news.

My take regarding NEWS:
- I've sat through sessions just staring at my charts and listening to news, and noticed that more often than not, the charts basically do what they want to do, totally ignoring news (and it was precisely after I've seen it with my own eyes that I finally was able to appreciate this wise saying: "the market is always right and always tells its own story best").

- What I see in the news and commentaries post-event, that made reference to a particular event and then associate it with the moves - they make me laugh at best.

- What move the market is GENERAL SENTIMENTS that could last anywhere from days to weeks to months, sometimes lasting maybe just hours (e.g when an ultra significant event overshadows all the rest before it).

Coming back to the upward move from 3pm on - that move from 1650 to 1684 - that would, in my opinion - especially with my position size - be a BIG MOVE.

So to sum up, for the session on Sep 26, you have (NOT taking into account the smaller moves during the 1000 to 1230 timeframe) 4 big upward moves and 3 downward moves

They are all highlighted in green in my chart above.

Now these are in hindsight of course.

In real-time,

- I wouldn't have taken the trade up (2nd green rectangle), because I would assume that it's a retracement (downward trend before that).

- By the time I realize it's not, it would have been too late (look at the size of that bullish candle).

- I wouldn't have taken the upward move that followed either, coz there were just too many resistances on its way up and I wouldn't know for sure when it will be stopped by one of them and turned back down.

- The long upper shadows are effective deterrents too.

- But most importantly, although I want to be bullish (and why shouldn't anyone, given that the entire government WANTS market to go up?), I simply can't be coz the patterns of the bullish candles suggest more short covering / profit taking than optimistic buying.

- And this is my personal rule: in a market filled with uncertainty and gloom, to make me go long, I'll have to see hammerS (yes, I'll need to see more than 1, coz I don't want to go through the wash and rinse cycle) at SWING lOWS. The upmove in the 2 said green rectangle were NOT supported by hammers. Hence, no play for me.

Although the 2 upward moves after 1230pm EST were supported by hammers and a morning star respectively, I didn't take anyone of them because:

- the first move up after 1230pm EST happened to be in the window that I don't open a new trade (11am- 1230pm). Too many bad experiences with and sob stories to tell about this trading timeframe!!

- the 2nd move happened after 3pm EST, after I've taken my 1400 over "profit", and time for me to pause and regroup. The morning star was very tempting of course, but I don't like to chase. I'm usually very high-strung when I'm in a trade - so once i close a position with profit, I usually need some time to cool down.

- On occasions where I've taken trades after 3pm - those were usually days when I hadn't hit my profit target for the day, or, days that I saw a pattern that I was familiar with - and these patterns are bearish (yes I'm a bear still, coz the market is apparently still bearish. Until the market decides that there's no harm being slightly LESS BEARISH since external intervention will surely IMPEDE further moves down, I'll continue to be VERY BEARISH ie. no longing)

Just want to talk a little about the trade I took before 930am EST.

- As shown in my chart, the blue rectangle (which shows the points I gained in the short entry) is about a quarter of the overall plunge down (Now, this is one hell of a move for me - for a 10 contract size, that's $5400 in profit).

- That would be what I call my DREAM profit target.

- Usually, I'll take profit at nearest support first, then continue to scalp it downwards until there're signs of exhaustion of prevailing trend.

On Sep 26, I hadn't entered again after my trade hit its target coz:

1) it was not real-money trade, my main focus was on observing what NQ does throughout the trading session esp during the first half hour of market open

2) my feeling about the market that day is that it's not decidedly bearish, so i'll have reservation about NQ's continual move down. I actually expected some short coverings first (ie. testing resistances - the pink, brown and green lines on my chart) before plunging.

As for the other moves that I could have taken down but did not, especially the ones from the top, I've explained in my posting on which gmargtrader's comment was made, why I hadn't taken them.

Long answer for a short (but not simple, coz I still am not sure if I got it) question.

My apologies if I confuse anyone.

But it's my journal, and as long as it doesn't confuse me, I'm happy :-D

Why I Blog, Why I Trade

I blogged for the first time in my life in Jan this year.

I had done it for fun, mostly out of curiosity, after I saw Seabloke putting up her first entry on blogspot.

Before that, I didn't have the habit of reading anyone's blog.

Whenever I ventured into someone's blog, it was out of necessity - I was doing research for work assignments.

There was just something about blogs that put me off then - but that's not the topic for today.

So I blogged on and off for 3 months (think I had about 5 entries?) before I shut it down in March.

When my entire world was falling apart, blogging was the last thing on my mind, and my thoughts were the last thing I want to leave open for strangers to read in cyberspace.

I suspected my world actually started to really fall apart sometime in May 2006, after years of insisting that I have no baggage of any sort.

I was in the 6th year of my service, and just promoted to the equivalent of a deputy superintendent.

And it had to be then that it started to dawn on me that I no longer want to continue to write speeches for the Commissioner (not that I didn't like him, I adore the quiet and learned man), to organize events graced by the gods, to screen innovative projects that I played a part in forcing our ground officers - who were already juggling crazy schedules - to undertake in the first place, to draft policy papers, to sit in strategic dialogue sessions - with supposedly the most brilliant of the country's minds - where such topics as scenario planning, as the leveraging of our learning organization culture and principles to engage officers in shared visioning exercises, as the importance of service excellence and its relevance in strengthening our partnership with the public, etc etc were deliberated.

I was brain-dead and needed something to jolt me back to life. I needed out of the headquarters.

I am not programmed to live a life of daily subordination to ideologies, to management and organizational visions and objectives, to the very big picture of making our country a place that will continue to entice the world's richest and most powerful to come and build their corporate empires.

Imagine my joy when my request to be posted to the CID was finally approved and I was granted an interview.

During the interview, I was told by one of the rare few I truly admire in the force, that my work would require me to be extremely versatile.

While my main role was to network with our global counterparts (the glamorous side), there would be occasions where I would find myself crawling on the floor looking for things I'd need for analysis, from among rubble and human flesh (the not-so-glamorous side).

I was asked if I owned any jeans, and that I'll have to keep a pair in my locker.

I had no idea how I convinced the man - the hunger in my eyes probably didn't escape his - I was chosen, despite my lack of experience in the front line (the most "frontal" I got was when I was assigned in a previous posting to deal with media-related matters).

That was less than a year after the London bombing, and a year that saw multiple suicide bombing incidents in the region.

I was never deployed, probably coz I was too new.

But I loved what I was assigned to do.

I loved my job so much I persuaded my superior at the headquarters to allow me to start work there while continuing to serve the headquarters until they managed to find my replacement.

So I ran between 2 departments for a while.

I was finally called back to the headquarters in early 2007 when they failed to find someone in time for a major exercise.

As I was never formally released to CID, I was totally obliged to return to the headquarters.

My only consolation was that it was not a bad place to work in in the first place. My superior was a dear, and I had actually missed him while I was spending the whole pre-christmas period at CID.

A month later, in Feb 2007, D's father - who was in Hong Kong -had a massive heart attack that nearly killed him, and D had to run between 2 countries to take care of him. The rest of D's family has been living in the US for decades, and there was just no one else....

To cut a long story short, we began to talk about our future, where we were heading, where our home is, for the first time.

D's home is not here.

As for me, I don't know where mine is.

I haven't any roots.

I grew up in 3 different countries and where I'm living right now is the one that I shouldn't have come back to in the first place.

After all, it was the last place my father had wanted me to be found.

When I was sent away at 16, all alone, I was sent away in secrecy. The only people who knew I was in Canada was my immediate family. Everyone else was told I had returned to the place that I was born - Kedah.

I was not given a reason as to why I had to flee, and really, I didn't care, coz I was just happy beyond description to be released.

After 16 years, I was a caged beast about to explode.

I returned for my Dad's wake when he died mysteriously 5 years after I left home.

It looked like he had hung himself.

But there were just too many things that didn't fit, so many questions left unanswered, that it was perhaps sheer exhaustion and denial that made us accept what seemed - on the surface - to be the logical conclusion to the cause of his death.

Our lives - Seabloke's, Pilot's and mine - were just one episode of drama after another when we were growing up. The family has so many secrets that we grew up totally embracing conspiracy theories.

Anyway, I returned to Canada immediately after my Dad's funeral, and didn't come home until after another 5 years had passed.

When I came home, it was season 2 of the family drama.

Granny came to my rescue, and bought me a place to live on my own.

The rest's history.

I didn't realize that I had come back home to search for answers - answers that I never got anywhere near to finding out.

8 years on, I started to wonder if there's actually life after Dad, and if I ever thought about who I really was, besides being his daughter.

I was desperately lost, totally beat, and looking for rest and a place I could call home.

I decided I had to leave the service to start getting experience in the private sector so that I can move whenever D is ready to.

I was fortunate to have found a good position in an offshore bank. But it was a case of a clash between the bank's need to protect shareholder interest and my value system that made me decide to leave.

I was REALLY REALLY lost after that.

That's a gross understatement in fact.

I had no idea what I was to do with my life - my only goal had always been to make my Dad proud.

I spent the first part of the 15 years after he was gone in denial that he was gone, and the 2nd part looking for answers, so I hadn't really the chance to grief, and to appreciate the reality that I, like everyone else, am an individual who's supposed to have my own dreams, hopes and passions regardless of what happen to even the closest person around me.

I must be the most stubborn person I know. I am so independent in my thinking that absolutely no one could get any sense into me.

I was enraged, confused, evil, and so cold and intimidating that D was forced to take on a persona that could exist in harmony with mine.

I could get so violent that I would hit him with a chair when I felt threatened and attacked.

It was when I started blogging again in May 08 that things began turning around.

About 2 months ago, a troubled D asked me if there was something that he should know, and if I was alright.

I asked what made him ask that.

He said I haven't screamed in 2 months, or gotten mad with him over ANYTHING. It had been impossible to piss me off.

For the first time in the 15 years that we were together, he could finally say things without feeling like he's walking across a field loaded with landmines.

I think what happened was that I finally found myself an audience, and D outlived his usefulness as a sandbag.

LOL

Blogging gives me a voice.

And it really doesn't matter if no one's listening.

I have done my part in letting things out, in giving myself the permission to feel bad, to vent my frustrations in a way that doesn't cause people I love distress or endanger the lives of others.

And it was in writing that I found the peace and solitude I had so desperately needed to find myself.

It was when I started writing frantically that I began to hear the voice inside me that told me what my passions were, and how I could use them to build a brand new life that perhaps I might just be able to love living.

It was then that I logged onto IB for the first time - Jun 08 - and traded with the account that has been sitting there waiting for me the whole time.

D was trading it on and off, with whatever knowledge he picked up sporadically about INVESTING (NOT trading).

It got to a point that he had to force me into doing something about the money that's idling in IB. We already had the bulk of our savings idling somewhere else. We have no mortgage - we own our home; we live within our means (D does have some indulgences - Armanis and Trussadis and such - but he's since cut down :-D), and have zero credit card debts.

It hit me that I had everything working for me to start LIVING.

So I did.

Now back to the question of why I'm paper trading.

I am paper trading now because NQ is new to me, and Oanda (for FX) is new to me.

It's not prudent to put money on the line when I know next to nothing about the instrument I'm trading and the platform I'm using.

That's me. I tend to tread carefully - maybe too carefully sometimes.

But once I know what I'm dealing with, I would strike without hesitation.

And back to the part on my being sent away - I still haven't the slightest inking from what, or whom, I was supposed to run away.

My only encounter before I left the country had been with a young man who came to the estate where I was living (with security and everything, I had no idea how he got in), who pointed a revolver at me in the billiard room (I can still remember vividly the feeling of the cold metal pressed against my forehead).

I stared into his eyes without blinking, just wanting to figure out who he was.

He stared back without a word.

What seemed like minutes later, he turned and walked out of the room.

It took me probably minutes to regain my composure, and I went after him.

He was nowhere to be found.

I ran to the guardhouse. Everyone on duty searched the estate for the mysterious man. But he vanished. Just totally gone.

I have no recollection of what happened after that. I was told a story that was simply unbelievably absurd - that the chap, who was barely 17, had found his uncle's gun and taken it out with him for the day without his knowledge, just for fun!

Shortly after the incident, I was asked to choose between Australia and Canada, where I'd be sent to to continue my education.

I picked Canada. Dad found a high school there, and made all the necessary arrangements to put me on a flight out of the country, all within 2 weeks.

I flew first to Hong Kong, stayed and wondered around all by myself for 3 days before catching a flight to Vancouver.

5 days after I left home, I arrived at Edmonton in the middle of the night, unprepared for the crazy -30 Degree Celsius temperature, but totally dazzled by the quietness of the city, and the pure white snow that lighted up long stretches of streets.

To whoever / whatever out there that has anything to do with my being sent away, know that it has all been GOOD for me, coz I sure had had a lot of fun (again, topic for another day) the nearly 10 years I was away.

And from this moment on, I am going to start having fun the way I did when I was an unknowing 16-year-old cruising through life in a foreign land, learning for the first time how to cook, do my own laundry, open a bank account, book my own dental appointment, jay walk, and DRIVE A CAR.

The market shall be my new playground.

NQ (Simulated) Trades 9/26

Done for the day, and am happy with what I've done.

The last trade was what I have been waiting for for 4 hours.

Yes, I was waiting for the plunge.

My initial target was 1656, but decided to get out at 1661.75 after waiting in vain for the decided move down.

Today's simply not the kind of day that I want to sit and wait for the market to break below support, not after it's tested it 3 times, and looks like it could reverse back up on a single piece of bullish news.

I took a decent profit that's half of what I had initially wanted, knowing that it's foolish to expect the market to grant me what I WANT while I sit looking at a chart that's telling me it's time to run.

As I'm writing this, NQ has rallied over 11 point.

Had it not rallied, and plunged instead, giving me my targeted profit, it would have had been sheer luck for me. I wouldn't have earned my profit as a result of objective judgement and strategic planning.

And had I not run with my profit, I would have suffered a loss of $2000.

I'm glad I settled for $400 plus.

D has asked me on many occasions why I don't ever pick the top ( in this case, at around 1675 (refer to chart below) and trade down from there.

I don't because I won't know where the top is when NQ is trending, and when there are a number of major resistances above it that it will attempt to hit.

I have made it a point to only go short when I've actually seen the top and that NQ is confirmed to have reversed and not just doing a minor correction.

Which is why I need to wait for my after 2pm window.

NQ (Simulated) Trade 9/26 - NQ Is A Darling!

I love NQ, I LOVE NQ!!!!!

It's ER2's twin!!

Entered and exited in the timeframe highlighted in green in chart below, after watching NQ for hours (since 3am EST). Profit target was set at 1650, a support from the day before.

10 contracts is right for me - it allows me to set stop loss 2 points away, and puts me in the right frame of mind (ie. not overstaying in a trade in a bid to get more points - I have a target that I want to hit, that I MUST hit, by hook or by crook...). That's less than 1% of what I've set aside for futures trading only (according to D, it would be the amount that I might possibly kiss goodbye while I'm learning to trade).

NQ has gone down another 15 points since I closed my position. Plunge ahead.

FX (Simulated) Trades 9/26

For now....

(Click to enlarge)

Will hold til my charts tell me to get out.

D asked last night why I'm still paper trading. I said I am testing out Oanda.

D asked what's wrong with using IB account to trade FX. I said there's just something that really annoys me about IB's FX trading platform.

Then D said he'll fund the Oanda account and asked how much I think I'd need.

I blurted out a figure.

D said he will put in 3 times that amount (in his usual ultra cool tone).

And how did I choose to respond to such sweet gesture?

"So you think I'm going to totally lose the amount I think I need..??!!"

Totally validating my gender identity.

NQ (Simulated) Trades (Part 2) 9/25

Beautiful plunge!!

NQ behaves exactly like ER2!

Total for the day:

NQ (Simulated) Trades 9/25

Pre-Market Trades:


Trades after 9:30am EST:


Total: $1218

I'm happy.

I'll be happier if it's real money of course.

NQ makes me feel normal again.

Sure beats trading against systems programmed to capture difference between cash and futures market every tick!!

Adios, ES!!

Latest simulated trades and result:

This posting is to convince ME that ES is simply NOT my department, and I should stay away from it!

It's either that there's something seriously wrong with me, or there's something queer about ES that others have had the patience to figure out (D broke the code I think!) but not me.

Although it would be really nice to know, I'm going to quit searching for answers. Life is short, I'm moving on to trade other instruments.

Thanks, Don, Cory, LT, Solfest, FX, HPT for your advice and suggestions. I'm checking out those alternatives.

FX, NQ,YG, ES Trades (Simulated) 9/25

Position closed for:

All 4 FX pairs : $879.97
NQ: $966
YG: $61.02
ES: - $102.40

Total: $1804.59

D commented that it seems the only instrument I can't trade is ES.

How true. Even in simulated trading, I lose money.

FX and YG (Simulated) Trades 9/25

FX

(Click to enlarge)


Positions are still open.
Charts used: Daily

USDJPY (Short)


EURUSD (Long)


EURJPY (Long)


GBPJPY (Long)



YG (Long)


Position's still opened
Charts used: Daily and 30-min

Not sure yet if I have the nerve to hold YG:
- 30-min chart shows a bull flag that has taken too long to form ie. YG could slide after hitting resistance
- Daily chart is also showing an YG that's hovering just slightly below resistance.

YG Daily


YG 30-min

ES Trades 9/24

Today's one of the most frustrating sessions for D and me.

I started making my first move - solo - at 10:25am EST. I wasn't comfortable getting in - simply because I knew that had I been confident enough, I would have gotten in sometime between 9:30 to 10:00. The fact that I couldn't find an entry within that window told me that I had lost half the battle - the psychology part.

I went in, anyhow, and shorted ES just slightly above its support:

And like I've said many times before, ES always does the opposite of what I thought it would do (in future, I'm going to write down my intention ie. to short or go long, then DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE when executing the trade!!). Without exception this time, it rallied right at the point that I entered short (see chart above).

I stubbornly sat through the rally, coz I've seen ES does this too many times (ie. it goes up, hits its resistance, comes back down, and basically trades within a specific range for at least the first half of the trading session), and I expected it to come back down to exactly where I shorted.

True enough, ES went up, then came down, and as I was all set to close my position, a hammer formed so quickly I didn't get a good exit and I got out without breaking-even (refer to chart above to see my exit point).

At this point, D was already seated by my side, and had witnessed the final phase of my fun ride up and down. I wasn't exactly in good spirit, but D was nice about it. He took over right away, and went long:


I made a remark about wash-and-rinse, meaning to warn D that if he meant to scalp (to me, scalping means you don't intend to stay for more than 1 or 2 candles on a 1-min chart), then be prepared for ES to do a slight correction before it goes up (And I figured it should go up coz it had reached it's low - if it tends to range, then the probable scenario would be it going back up, especially when it's supported by a HAMMER).

In retrospect, I was really messing with D's mind. He was totally confused and pissed and got out after making barely half a point.

When ES started to rally after he exited, that was just too much for D and he went out for a smoke, totally enraged.

I stayed with my chart and started to see what it was doing.

When D returned after about 5 minutes, we talked as if nothing had happened and continued to monitor ES' move.

At a certain point, all we saw was that ES was ready to slide.

Chart showing the point where D was about to make a move:

Then D saw an opportunity to go in (see chart above), which I wasn't aware of coz I was kind of taking a back seat by then. As D was about to make his move (and I had no idea that he was actually all set to go), I blurted out that ES looked like it was getting ready to break UP, NOT down. A few seconds later, I commented that it's going to go sideways for a while.

D was REALLY PISSED by then. He got up from my workstation, and went back to his. I realized what was happening, and shut down IB, passing him the token so he could trade from his workstation.

But D was just too mad to trade. I didn't know what to say (I knew I should have just apologized, as D would have, had he been the one that had messed with my mind, but something caught my tongue and I just couldn't say I was sorry). So I left the token with him and went out for a rather long walk.

When I returned, D was in a better mood. We talked about what happened and concluded that it was a bad idea for both of us to trade together. We are both stubborn and hot-tempered, yet we always take into consideration each other's opinions and views and feelings.

It's just a big mess when the 2 of us come together to do anything coz as a woman, I'm not exactly subservient, and as a man, D is not chauvinistic enough to ask me to shut up. So the outcome is a very frustrated D, and a very screwed up me.

Anyway, D ended up reaping some profits when I decided to go in for a shower. He really does perform a lot better without my being around to influence him.

And I continue to detest ES more than I detest Bush and Cinderella's 2 evil step-sisters.

Killer Resume

Was doing some serious research on instruments with properties similar to ER2 when I received a hilarious mail from a very cute friend of mine. Couldn't go back to work anymore coz I JUST COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING over the content of the email.

Since I can't work, I'm just going to have to distract everyone else.

Here's what's in the email attachment (Subject: Resume - Secretary from Ipoh, Malaysia), courtesy from M:

SECRETARY 'S RESUME

Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper.

I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me belly well.

I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I can start imeditely.

Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly, Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb.

Employer's reply:......

Dear Peggy,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check.....

Welcome onboard!!!

ES Trades 9/23

Today's session's simply pure fun:

• Trades #1 and 2 were combined efforts with D: he entered (for ES, entry's NOT my department - I either get in too early or too late), I closed (NOT D's department- he tends to get out too soon).

• Trades #3 and 4 were D's trades.

• Trade #5 (final trade) was mine.

We sat together looking at the same screens the whole time.

D couldn't stop talking about the moves, pausing only to ask why I couldn't stop drawing lines on the chart.

When ES was going nowhere, we played a brief game of soccer in the spacious area between our workstations and the book cabinet :-D

Realizing that our P&L was in positive region, D suggested at 12pm EST that we call it a day so that I'll start tomorrow with more confidence and brighter spirit.

D is the strangest man I know. Strangely cool and detached, yet strangely compassionate and gentle.

I wonder if it was coz he found me sleeping on the living room settee (my comfort corner of our home) this morning that he felt compelled to give me some moral support.

D's warmth can be awfully touching; his love and friendship priceless.

For someone who's sent away at 16 to live totally alone (yes, sans friends and relatives) in a country so far away from home it takes more than 20 hours to fly there, I'm hopelessly attached to D. On that fateful 26th April 08, the day I saw him off at the airport and figured he wasn't going to come home ever, my world stopped. Time stopped, and I could feel my life slipping away. D was gone for 48 hours and I lost 2 kgs and aged 5 years.

D is a curse. Without him, I'm a living dead.

What Happens When We Die - An Article That Caught My Heart

Took some time off to clear my mind, and started reading things that have nothing to do with the market and politics.

Chanced upon an article that talks about what happens when a person dies.

A topic that has always fascinated me.

Yes, I'm obsessed with "Death" and generally with the notion of "Existence".

I'm constantly imagining what it feels like to NOT exist.

Since I was 4, I've been afraid that my father would die, as if I really understood what "death" meant. Every night before I slept, I would lament having lived another day, coz that would mean that my father was 1 day older and 1 day nearer to dying. I was constantly torn between wanting to grow up so that I could start buying whatever I wanted (back then it was just chips, fries and coke - which were banned in my home), and wanting time to stop so my father won't ever grow old. I never felt happy on his birthdays, for obvious reason.

In fact, I'm starting to think that maybe my fixation on what's to become of him when he vanishes from the face of earth was what invited the bad karma....he died young.

2 weeks before he took his own life, I had a dream about him jumping off a building. I was in Edmonton, 20 hours' flight away from him. I couldn't stop thinking about the nightmare, and I couldn't tell anyone about it. I have a history of predicting events in my dreams and whenever I told people, including my doctor, I would get a look that I wouldn't find very flattering.

Years after my father died, I began to explore "soul travelling".

Since I was 17, I've had countless episodes of finding myself consciously aware of everything happening around me when I was supposed to be deep in slumber. It was years later that I learnt about "out of body experience".

In the first few years of such occurrences (which was as frequent as a few times a week and sometimes twice a day), with my body lying still on my bed (yes I could see myself), I would wonder around the house and check out my roommate (not that I intentionally wanted to, I just drifted there).

When I woke up (which is always a terrible struggle - I would be all ready to get up but my body would just refuse to respond according to my will), I would tell my roommate what she was doing, writing and talking about while I was fast asleep on my bed.

She got used to it eventually (and she's still my best friend today, after almost 12 years that we graduated).

But what happened was always involuntary and I always felt helpless and totally lost as to where I was going to be transported to (I've been among stars and in tunnels which doesn't stop winding).

So I decided that rather than being yanked out of my body against my will, I shall control when I want to leave my body, and where I would go.

And the ONLY place I ever wanted to go was wherever my father was, and I always thought he had taken residence among the stars in the sky.

It took me half a year of practising daily the method taught in books. I always failed whenever I became aware that I was actually out of my body. On one occasion, I actually told myself not to think about it, and, voila, I was wide awake. My last attempt was the furthest I ever got to - I actually floated a few inches above my body and saw myself and D. Then the awareness factor kicked in, as usual - I realized I was out, and I woke up immediately.

That was 5 years ago. I learnt later that it wasn't exactly the kind of thing that normal people do, and that it's not what God wants us to do. I got rid of all the books and material on soul travel, and started going to church.

For 13 years, I - or more precisely, my soul - have been to places that I couldn't even identify til today. I've heard sounds so loud I cannot find anything on earth to compare it with, and stillness so quiet I've never heard it anywhere in this world we live in (even in Edmonton, where it could get so quiet in the house my father bought in the suburb - where I lived alone at 16 - that I could hear my own heartbeat every night). Sadly, I could hardly call it an adventure, coz I sure didn't enjoy any part of it, and was in perpetual fear of being "taken" forever.

This is the 5th year that I've been left alone. But I'll never stop wanting to know where exactly were those places I've been to, with colors I've never seen before, and structures and sounds I doubt I will ever find the words to describe.

And I still want to know where my father is now. What happened to him after he died?

ES Trades 9/22

WAY BEHIND MY DAILY TARGET!! By $1276.80!

I'm so exhausted after spending 10 hours with SUPER COOL ES I haven't the energy to curse.

It's either that I'm totally out of syn with it, or with the market in general.

Given a choice, I'd like to blame ES for its ultra stability, which clashes head-on with my total lack of equanimity.

But the better part of me knows that I have a prejudice against ES, and had traded it without a plan, coz I was just simply not interested.

I really have to let ER2 go and give ES a chance.

Well, at least I sat through the entire trading session with it today. A good start. Postmortem tomorrow, and will see if a total paradigm shift is in order.

How an equally impatient D can love ES' slow but fitful moves is simply beyond me.

In any case, when I can no longer put up with ES, I'm just going to have to go look for my beloved ER2. And I don't care that it's ICED!!