Ring My Bells

Today (Jan 22) is my 12th wedding anniversary.

Yes, D is my husband.

I'm still learning not to giggle whenever someone comes up to me and say something like "oh, you're his (D's) WIFE".

I've been with D for 17 years, and the tying the knot bit was really just for formality's sake.

Ok, it was actually Granny's idea. She proposed to D. I was merely INFORMED to be present at the registry of marriage on Jan 22 1998. I took half a day off and returned to work right after I said "I do".

There was no party, no Snow White Bridal Gown from Disney's Fairy Tale Wedding Collection, no announcing to the whole world that we were both FINISHED, no honeymoon, and all those frills.

Only the realization that we were going to be stuck with each other for the rest of our life.

D and I met when we were still kids/minors. We kind of grew up together. At no point in our life did we feel that we deserved someone better. But we fought ALL THE TIME. I thought I was ALWAYS right. And lucky for me, D thought the same too - about himself that is. Life would have been so boring had I had my way all the time.

But all good things must come to an end.

2008 was the year we thought was a good time to say goodbye...

Long story short, 2008 was a BAD year. I spent a good part of most days driving around from the extreme west to the extreme east of the island. Seabloke was my constant companion. She would date me for breakfast almost everyday (I just quit my job, and Sea's girls were old enough to attend nursery). But we'd never talk about things that made us sad. We smoked (that was when I picked up smoking again) and cracked jokes, and had too many eggs. I should have put on 20 pounds. Instead, I lost 20. At less than 100 pounds, my BMI was 16. For someone my height, I looked every bit like a runway model.

One day, while driving Sea home, I made her listen to ONE of my favorite songs. The song that I played over and over when I was driving alone. Sea cringed at first (Sea's OCCASIONALLY demure). After that, she just found the song hilariously amusing.

I stopped playing the song beginning of 2009.

A few days ago, over the weekend, while D was compiling songs for his ipod, he played that number! He still hasn't a clue how I lived 2008-2009, and he certainly knows nothing about the song.

I was moody throughout this week because of a stupid song and memories I should have buried along with that poor cockroach (2nd sighting since we moved in in Apr 08 - had me screaming and waking up the entire household - D, Al, and Keish) we electrocuted and buried with Al & Keish's litter - but D has no idea cuz I always seem cheery.

D still wears the ring everyday; I don't. D sets an alarm to remind him of our anniversary; I don't.

But D also made me wonder ALL THE TIME if he loved me at all.

For the first time in 17 years, I don't care what D thinks or feels about us anymore. There's really no "US". There's him, and there's me. And we do our best to live a productive life together.

What matters is, he doesn't matter anymore.

AND WE ARE FINALLY HAPPY NOW.

Crude - My Joy & Pain - & A Sad Story

CL 10min

CL 10min Zoom Out

I must have changed my mind at least a dozen times about where oil is going. Stopped out thrice (2 full stopouts, 1 stopped on trailed). Frustrating but am starting to get used to it.

Am disappointed that I couldn't hold the last trade (shown on chart above) to 79.10 target (S1). It was 20 mins before oil inventory report, and price wouldn't plunge even after making new lows. I chose to play defensive.

D felt my moodiness and kept wanting to cheer me up.

Correction: he SAW my moodiness - oil plunged way way beneath S1 after news release.

I have done everything that isn't in my nature to do - all for the sake of trading well - and I just wish that I'll learn to at least give myself a pat on the back once in a while.

But that's REALLY not in my blood.

My 3 stopped out entries (Red for short; blue for longs):


On a very sad note, D's office cleaner collapsed today and couldn't be revived. It was discovered later that he had a hole in his heart. He was just 30. The really sad part was that none of the 50 over personnel in the office that were crowding around him rendered or called for any help. It was only when D approached them that he knew what happened. He told the crowd that if there wasn't anything else they were going to do, they should at least clear out and give the man some air. D called the ambulance. When he learnt that the man didn't make it, he had his staff send an envelope around to raise funds for the cleaner's family. He was appalled to learn that only a fraction of those who had gathered around the cleaner had made a contribution. That's the private banking department of one of the BIGGEST banks in the world, and most earn a very decent income, and only a handful was willing to do something for the man who had helped them clean their work space everyday.

I don't know what to say.

D's Losing Sleep Tonight

TF 10min

D's a little upset.

But he didn't lose his humor.

"Look on the bright side" he said, "it shows you're damn good!!!"

D will have clean laundry for the rest of the month.

TF Trades 12/4 (Fri) - Wrap Up

Total: + 1.9 Points

TF 200-tick

I am officially very sick of TF's min charts. Was checking out its tick chart shortly after getting out of my globex hour trade, and noticed that it was nice. That run up before market open was crazy but not unexpected. Had I switched to a tick chart earlier, I wouldn't have gotten out of my scratched position.

But I don't look back, so all's good.

US Session
I had been focusing on the bull flag and for price to break on the upside and didn't even realize that market has opened. When price indeed broke above and didn't look like it was pulling back just yet, I put in a buy stop order to get in at 602.8.

Order was filled when D got back to his workstation. He asked to take over, so I let him. Told him to set a limit order to sell at 605 (target was determined much earlier before trade was entered - I went with Fib 211.8 but chose 605 coz it's a whole number and it's a "5"). When TF got to 604, I told him to move stop to breakeven. The next second, I heard "SHIT".

"ok, good, we got 1 point right?" I figured D had ACCIDENTALLY closed my trade.

"We got 1.1" A very, very remorseful D replied, as we both watched price shoot pass 605.

"YAY!!! SMOKE BREAK!" Like I said, I don't look back.

Even Alberto sensed that D was upset, and came running to console him. I told D that it was alright, that I make mistakes much more often than he does (and my mistakes usually cost us big time). D promises that he will start to get used to using the BookTrader instead. But he was still mad with himself. So I had to tell him that actually I wasn't sure that moving stop to breakeven was such a great idea, and would have probably bailed at 604 anyway.

D's now HAPPY.

Men.

Update: I totally forgot about non-farm until I read Paul's post! But then again, had I gone with tick-chart, I would still have bought a breakout on the upside on both the globex trade and the post-market open trade. It was actually the min chart that got me in too early on the globex trade. Great, I just blamed my chart. Soon I'll be blaming my cat. He wants food and massage everytime I sit on a losing trade.

Trades 12/1 (Tues) & 12/2 (Wed) & SPA Saga

12/1 (Tues) US Session

TF 1min

Typical pre-FED day - tight range, undecided market, basically just an ugly chart until after 2pm. There was just 1 trade that I spotted. Gave D signal to enter (blue arrow), then had him cancel buy stop order. I just didn't think I had to resort to taking a crappy trade like that (wide stop; profit capped by 3rd touch on downsloping channel ceiling). I didn't want to short the market either, and decided to call it a day. D was only too happy. He had been wanting to SELL the whole time. So he faded every new peak in NQ:



12/2 (Wed) FX

Closed my EURUSD position (LONG) from last Friday. Result: -14 pips. I'm not sure what the pair wants to do anymore. I overstayed in the first place anyway (This chart shows my entry on Fri - Oanda's not showing that trade anymore...it probably keeps historical records for no more than 2 days?).

EURUSD 15min

Opened a AUDUSD position (LONG) that I didn't feel comfortable holding, and decided to let a breakeven stop take me out.

AUDUSD 15min

Opened a CADJPY position (LONG) to hedge my EURUSD trade and decided to let a breakeven stop take me out when the 2 started to converge.

CADJPY 15min

I think I just wanted to breakeven for the day.

And now I'm totally flat, and HAPPY. PnL for the week is USD 1300, so I'm going to stay out of a FED DAY.

BAD PEOPLE
I was having breakfast with D at our favorite haunt before he went to work this morning, when he received a call from the manager of a spa with which I am a member ( a 2007 Christmas gift from D - a 12k lifetime membership which he paid 8k for with cash - yes, the 4k bonus was for his generosity). His boss had run away. D broke the news to me, expecting some sort of reaction. But I continued to drink my ice coffee, and gave him a devilish grin seconds later. It's nasty, but definitely better than the "I-TOLD-YOU-SO" expression which always irritates the 2 of us.

Truth was, I was taken aback when I received the gift. But being the ever angelic partner that I was (ok, that's totally fabricated), I forced a grateful smile and said "thank-you". The following day, I asked Seabloke if she could sell the membership on ebay for me, since she's an ebay member. No luck. What was I even thinking - the market just crashed!

So Seabloke and I decided we'd go for a nice massage SOME DAY. The day never came of course. First, I can't be massaged. Second, I can't leave my workstation for even a day. Third, I can't spend a day at a spa - I'll go completely crazy.

It's been exactly 24 months since I received the membership card and I've never once stepped into the spa. And I've completely forgotten about selling the card when our economy turned around.

So there goes D's 8k. I'm just glad he hadn't used credit (I read on the Singapore's Straits Times that there were those who paid for the membership with their credit cards, and it looks like they will still have to continue to pay their installments....).

I told D to go to our small court tribunal. I would rather give the 8K to charity than to people who ran away without paying their employees!

A brief description of the case I found on the net:
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20091109/tap-097-has-wellness-village-spa-left-cu-231650b.html

TF 11/20 (Fri)

TF 1min

Day 2.

Day 1 (Thurs) was NOT good. D took calls from his office, from his mum, and couldn't stop checking his blackberry, and his office laptop for emails. Extremely frustrating for me coz I like QUIET, FULL COMMITMENT & COOPERATION and UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.

Day 2 was better, albeit a tad comical. D was argumentative (D's always right...). We got our entries, but none of the targeted profits. D was extremely reluctant to stay in trade and would run with his few ticks each time. Drives me nuts.

Will keep doing this during US session.

Am still trading 6E during globex hours, but will slowly switch to Forex.

Jules Is A Mule (Part 3??!)

6E 15min

Yesterday was an interesting day - not just because I gave away 1k in a single trade again - so thought I'll talk about it.

I Shorted the 6E rather early in the morning (my morning and around 8pm NY time) coz, well, I was convinced 6E was going back down to test the spike low (see chart above). As with other days that I refused to think straight, I held on to the trade until I realized I couldn't be sure if price was going to stop going against me before the day ended. And as with all those other days that I was convinced that price would go to a certain place, price eventually did start going in my direction, or totally hit my target, either a few hours after my exit or 24 hours later.

All these days had been Wednesdays.

After I cut my loss, I had gone into my personal library to dig out some material I came across before, and to take a closer look at something that I never really took into account when I trade the futures: market participants (who they are - farmers/merchants/banks, speculators, hedge fund managers etc, and WHEN they operate).

My hypothesis about why the chart did what it did and why I kept hanging on to my biased view was confirmed when I traded the TF later in the evening (US morning of course) - when a wolfe pattern failed during lunch hour (learning very quickly from my 6E experience just hours before, I told D to refrain from buying a breakout - which is needed for price to get to wolfe target).

In any case, a hard stop would have saved me from myself. I had a lot of conviction, which was why I didn't want a stop to get in the way (what an irony). Extremely stupid, looking back. But then of course everything always appears obvious with the benefit of hindsight. It takes a hell lot of discipline and UNCOMMON SENSE to immediately recognize and stop a stupid act that's about to happen. I have neither discipline nor uncommon sense.

But I have an endless supply of energy. Maybe that's exactly what makes things worse. Instead of taking a hiatus after that 1k loss (6J took it!) from 2 weeks ago, I went right back to work after a 2-day break....

And after yesterday's 1k blunder, I went right back in to intervene in D's trading.

I had started off by telling D I would stop trading altogether for a while, and share with him about Wolfe Waves instead. After US market opened, D traded the account, taking his usual 1 to 3 ticks (since I said I wouldn't trade) before I spotted the wolfe pattern.

When I told him to go long at 595, he hesitated but went with it anyway. BUT he got out after 3 ticks instead of holding and moving his stops til we see the 3rd target (see chart below). When TF hit 600 in a parabolic move up, he blamed himself for not having persuaded me to take the trade myself.

As if things hadn't been bad enough up to that point, D had to sell at a place that I would buy, after TF pulled back from 600.

I hit the bid column on booktrader, covering his short.

D yelled "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!!" (I know, someone who has lost 1k just moments ago really shouldn't be meddling in the trade of another who has a record of zero to one losing day out of 20 on average) .

I was stunned, but only for seconds. Then I hit bid once more to get in on a long trade, at 3 ticks higher than where I had covered D's short (where I covered his short was exactly where I had wanted to go long - in other words, I had wanted to flip his trade - but D shocked me, and I was late hitting bid a second time as a result).

After I covered my long at +9 ticks, D thanked me for stopping his short at minimal damage, and for the rest of the day, we were in consultative mode (until I went in for my shower when D quietly took some "lunch time" trades).

It was fun - trading with D. And we might just do it again. I'm tempted to let D execute all the trades I identify. D doesn't lift stops - which means I can say goodbye to 2.5% drawdowns in a single trade forever.

On TWS - Red arrow shows where D entered on wolfe pattern, Blue arrow shows D's short that that I covered, Green arrow shows where I went long after covering D's short

TF 1min (my apologies for the blur - program was going to shut down, and I hadn't saved the chart, so needed to do a capture immediately - click to get a better view)

D's 3-Tick Rule (Update)

Target of 598.3, 599.5 and 600 hit!

D's crying. HAHAHAHA!!!

Chart above shows Wolfe pattern from yesterday (include price from the day before).

D's 3-Tick Rule

TF 1 min

Was teaching D to trade a Wolfe pattern that I learned from Todd. Told D to buy at 595 (blue arrow), and place a 3 tick stop. Target was anywhere along target line. I projected 598.3, 599.5 and 600.

D took 3 ticks and happily exited.

Sigh.

WASTED.

There was a wolfe pattern yesterday too. Will post later. But find your own first just for the fun of it.

For the record, D has only 1 losing day since beginning of the month. So, maybe his 3-tick rule isn't so bad after all. Ha ha.

Simply Psychotic

It's Sunday, 10pm here, and he's still at work in his office. Drills of some kind. When he left his morning, he hadn't told me at what time he would be home, and I didn't ask. I slept through lunch, woke up and continued to work on my charts. Came dinner time and not a word from him. So I text to ask if he was actually having dinner in his office. He called to apologize for forgetting time. I said it was alright and that I would have dinner alone.

It's days like this that bring back all the haunting memories of last year. During last year's drill, he had called her a number of times (it was a 2-day event where he camped out in his office). It's strange how people can somehow find time for those they are truly interested in, no matter how crazily busy they claim to be. And it's amusing how on the same day, I nearly fell down 27 floors trying to save his precious armani jeans. He didn't call me even after I text to tell him I finally found out how people fall to their death retrieving their laundries.

Mum called last night for the umpteenth time, and I finally picked up. We chatted a little about me, but I really wasn't in the mood to discuss my "depression" (she keeps thinking that I am sick, simply coz I stay indoors 24/7, and shun any kind of human contact). When she started talking about gremlins, that was when I got chatty. She had lunch with Seabloke and the girls recently, at a place that the girls called "Yee Yee's haunt" (I bring them there for blueberry pancakes whenever Seabloke's out of town), and asked me if gremlins are indeed very attached to me. I guess. Which surprised Mum. I'm not supposed to like people. She knows that, especially after I told her that the best part about my current job now is that it doesn't involve any face-to-face interaction with human beings. Then she started to talk about how gremlins are exactly like Seabloke and me when we were little kids. Extremely cheeky, hyperactive, hyper naughty, super talkative, extremely charming. Just nothing like their father (except the charming part of course), Mum said. Then we began to talk about how rascally I was when I was their age. I gather it came as a shock to her that I am today the exact opposite of what they expected me to be. Quiet, emotionless, anti-social, and love the dark (they thought I would grow up to be an entertainer, a social butterfly, just someone delightfully sunny).

I guess I died a long time ago. For years I couldn't understand my existence. Now at least I have something that gets me out of bed at 6 every morning - my charts. I'm tired of disappointing people, and having people disappoint me. I don't think about ever finding love, and I don't envy those who can still appreciate the myths and fantasies surrounding the subject. There's just no room for love in my life. It's fully occupied, perhaps by anger, perhaps by bitterness, perhaps by charts. I might never find out.

But it's ok. We have different things that we live for. I'm glad mine is something that can never hurt me, coz it's so darn DEAD.

I have a partner in life. We work towards the same goal - his parents and our retirement. I am his best friend (I'm going to have to just assume that...I mean, being wildly imaginative and naive was what had kept me going for more than 3 decades), he's my best friend, and he can't live a day without the coffee I make (acquired taste).

It's an uncomplicated life, albeit a little sad sometimes. That's why we stay away from Bollywood movies. They are just a tad too happy (what with the chasing each other around coconut trees and running into each other's arms on the beach...jeez....) for our liking.

Seabloke's visiting tomorrow! I'm happy! As long as she's not serious about DURIANS for lunch!

There's a very small chance that I might not trade tomorrow. Whenever lady facebook comes to mind, bad things happen. My neighbours' cute looking, seemingly harmless poodle poos right at my gate, my pc crashes, my mobile stops receiving messages, and my trades go awry.

I had a good day today. I spent most of it sleeping, and going over FX Madness' archive. He has amazing clean charts and a clear head. Recommended read.

6B Trade 10/13 (Tues)

Long 1 6B contract

6B 377-Ticks

Just one trade for now. Missed my 6E long coz D wanted to go out for a smoke! Came back and saw that 6E had hit my targeted exit. Didn't want to chase and took a look at 6B instead. Saw exactly what I have been waiting for (piercing of support and then turning strongly back up, failing an "M" pattern). I was a little late still, but it's better than chasing what's already at the peak (6E).

After I covered my 6B trade, D apologized profusely over my missed 6E trade. I had wanted to exit at Fib Ext 161.8 (see chart below) and the trade would have yielded a very nice 1.9 point. D's sorry coz I would have had 2 winning trades, according to him. I was amused. Truth is, had I gotten 19 ticks from 6E, I would've had taken a break rather than take another trade immediately after.

6E 200-Tick

D traded the TF instead. Brave (globex hours, there isn't much to see on the chart). Unlike me when I traded the TF during globex hours, he couldn't sit on a retracement and got out at + 2 ticks. D asked how I managed to get my 1, 2, 3 and 4 points on TF during such odd hours. I said coz I sat on 1, 2, 3 and 4 point paper loss first (TF seldom break out pre-market, trading in a range for hours). On a few of those occasions, I had glanced at the PnL column from time to time, and would close my trade once I saw a decent profit. I'm still wondering if being that relaxed is good.

6E & TF Trades 10/7 (Wed)

6E 10min

TF 1min

Total: USD 212.50

3 Trades: Long 6E, Short TF, Long TF

I'm too tired to write. Woke up early this morning - too early, but I had no choice coz 6E charts were haunting me in my dreams!

Continued to study more charts (and hoping they'll stop visiting me in my sleep) and read more e-books and then 8 hours later, I began watching 6E. Stayed with it from 3am EDT all the way to 9:30am EDT when I switched over to TF.

I don't know how many hours I've been looking at my screen but my eyes are telling me to stop.

So I'm just going to spend the rest of the night listening to D boss everyone around on his 4-hour conference call (which really feels like nothing now after his 40-hour marathon call just 5 days ago on Sat & Sun - I'm not kidding, D had to charge his phone twice, and after he was finally done, he had wanted to clean the air-con unit. I gently told him he's hyper and out of his mind and suggested a massage session from me instead. D's crazy. Really crazy).

TF Trades 10/2 (Fri) - Spooked

TF 1 Min

Red arrow: Loser

Black arrow: Winner

Total: USD 100

It's NFP day, yes.

It's Friday, yes.

My Sim trading platform has not been doing what I wanted it to do for the past few days, yes.

But I'm not in a position to be picky (though with data feed, Anthony did imply that I can - well, he said if there's discrepancy between chart and DOM, it's not acceptable. Sweet Anthony).

I can't wait for the perfect day and perfect feeds to start working again.

And I can't stand it that D went in right after NFP report and got out with a profit!

So, I went live, and to celebrate my first day back at work, I gave away 1 point to the market.

I curled up like a ball in my chair after that, helpless and demoralized. I haven't even the chance to blink my eye before my trade was stopped out. I thought about all those times that I was trading crazier instruments like the 6E and 6J with either a wide or no stop and was almost too relaxed for my own good - those were the days....

Almost in the same instant, I blamed my stop. I was about to widen it to 7 points, when the better part of me told me to CUT IT OUT.

Then I saw a setup. But I had no entry. Great.

Then I saw my entry, but I hesitated.

Then for some strange reason (highly likely Solfest's prophesy about my having 13 kids and being stuck in the kitchen!), I uncurled myself, reached out for my mouse and hit "buy".

Enough is enough. I can't keep chickening out coz of a stupid stop.

I got my 1 point. My heart was racing so fast I felt like I was going to pass out. Yes, I've had that before, but that was a year ago!

Saw my 2nd entry, went in and came out with another point.

By then, my mild headache had become a full blown migraine.

D had no idea the ordeal I went through until he came over and placed his ear on my chest.

He was shocked that my heart could actually beat so fast.

He dragged me out for a smoke, and I missed my 4th signal coz of that (all signals highlighted in white on chart above). But I figured out I should stop before I get a seizure or something.

I'm sure I'm under some kind of curse. J told me about this friend of his whose house is supposedly under an Indian curse. I think I'm under a Chinese curse. In Singapore, they have a term for it: "Kiasu". A direct translation would be "fear of losing", or "scared to death of losing", etc.

Good news is, my platform works perfect today! In fact, it's now faster than my charts. LOL!!

I'm sure Anthony did something. The last time I couldn't access TransAct for 12 hours, I wrote him and by the time he got to the office, I was able to log in immediately. I had thought that maybe I was cursed and D was blessed (coz D got home, logged on, and was in!), until I found out from Anthony that he had made some calls (to TransAct and had them re-sync my account!).

Anthony, again, WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU? :-)

I'm going to be using the weekend to think about what the hell is wrong with me. And definitely staying away from anything that causes my heart to palpitate (that means no staring at Hugh Dillon's pictures!!!)

Here's D's chart (the one he hasn't changed since AGES ago - I have dropped TRIX a few times and he still has it!) and his result:

TF Trades 9/29 (Tues) - Hitting A Stone Wall

D's result:

Mine:

Humbling...

What happened:

TF 10min

TF 5min

Clearly, had I used the 5mins, I would have not entered my first trade. I would be expecting a falling 3 method (bearish), and wouldn't have bought. And I would have gotten in at a better price for the 2nd trade had I entered on a 5min.

That there were screw ups on the AT platform hadn't helped. I couldn't get out of my losing trade at 1.2 point loss when I knew it was going awry, and I couldn't get out of my winning trade when I was getting 1.9 points. D asked why I wouldn't use the "Flatten" feature. I don't know. I guess I was just too busy feeling pissed to look for alternatives.

D had a talk with me before we turned in. He commented that I am bruised and yet on the surface I am fighting ferociously and a tad too aggressively - to the point that I would not hesitate to revamp my entire trading method in a bid to improve my results - when what I need to do is really to just go back to doing what I'm good at doing.

And I have to agree. It's just that I'm really not sure now what is it that I have been good at doing.

Pressing on nonetheless.

D said I'm more of an engineer than him. How ironic that we were in the same engineering lectures in our first year, and I was the one that opted out to pursue another degree - despite my very good result in the subjects that bore me the most (ENGINEERING, PHYSICS) - while he stayed and got his masters!

Definitely seeing a pattern here.

Logics Of Trading

D has a BSc in Computer Engineering and a Masters degree in Electrical Engineering and has another major in Accounting.

He's the kind that should totally stay away from trading.

But today, D nets a 1 to 2 point profit on a daily basis trading the TF. His losses are so small it makes me mad. His stop-loss is 7 TICKS. On choppy days, if he chooses to trade, he will lift his stops and use a mental stop instead but he's never lost more than 1 point per trade.

Which makes me wonder, how does a person so logical and controlling manage to win consistently in trading?

When D started trading the eminis, he knew next to nothing about them. Everything he knew about trading the ES and TF, he had learned it from me. D doesn't like to read (again, makes me really mad that he aced all his examinations in university). He doesn't even bother listening to tapes that teach one how to trade. He can put up with a 2-hour session with me once in 3 months where I share with him some of my trading methods, and a 15-min session every evening before the US market opens where I tell him what to watch out for. And that's about it. He paper traded for a few days and has gone live since.

In the first 9 months that he began trading the eminis, he would constantly ask me where market's heading. And I would tell him I think price should be aiming for this and that level. And D will watch. After a few minutes, he would ask again if price was really getting there, and I would tell him that it should unless it doesn't.

Sometimes he would enter a trade based on what I said, and in the middle of a trade he would ask if price's going to hit his target. I would tell him there's a possibility it would, but I really don't know for sure. That's my standard reply to his questions. And he would be totally flabbergasted. "I thought you've done all your analysis??"

Blaming. Hmmm...

And I would ask him instead what his exit plan is.

"What exit plan???!"

I would then stare at him in disbelief and then give him a "you're so DEAD" look that would make him so mad he would exit his trade immediately and storm out for a smoke to cool down.

Once I asked him how much he's willing to give away for the bet he's taking. He looked at me as if I was crazy. He's trading to make money, not to lose money, so I could understand his reaction. I told him that he should take trades based on how much he wants to lose, and not based on how much he wants to win. How much he loses is entirely his choice. How much he wins is not, assuming that he's gone in on a high probability setup (validating his decision to enter).

It took him months to digest what I said. The controlling and logical part of him just couldn't grasp a concept that focuses on "losing" rather than "winning". Every time I hit my 2 to 3 point profit in one trade or via a few scalps, he would ask why I hadn't sounded him out that there were opportunities. And I would tell him that the risk is more than what he would be willing to take.

"But you were sure that price is going there right???"

"Absolutely not. Which is why I had entered on a relatively tiny candle that allows me to use a smaller stop. But that tiny candle is still too huge for you (D can't stand giving away more than 1 point on any trade, while I WAS comfortable with a 2 to 7 point stop in ER2/TF)."

"But you were fairly confident about the trade right, after all your research and studies???"

"I'm never sure of anything, honey, and I don't want you to blame me when the trade goes awry, so, no, I'm not giving you any tips. Go take a cold shower."

And D would storm out to get a smoke.

There were occasions where I have taken over trades he simply couldn't manage (it's hard for me to see D nervous, coz D's almost always COOL) and helped him make profits that he would never let run had he traded on his own. But as much as I can help it, I encourage/force him to make his own trading decisions.

After 1 year of lousy coaching from me, D's now as independent as my cats. On that few occasions that I had wanted to interfere, he had told me nicely to leave him alone and that he's on top of things. I'm impressed.

D's losing days are few, and his losses are in ticks. He takes an average of 1.5 points from the market each day, and he trades EVERY DAY. I took a look at his chart that day out of curiosity, and was shocked to see that nothing on them had changed. Absolutely NOTHING. He has been using the very same charts with the same indicators that I gave him on them (which he doesn't use at all coz I never taught him how to use them), the same methods that I taught him before (he hasn't learned anything else on his own - coz, well, D DOESN'T LIKE TO READ) - mainly bull and bear TRAP setups, failed breakouts, failed flags, failed everything - checks with me about the trend for the day everyday before the session begins, watches for traps, and goes for TINY signal candles (the fact that candles on the eminis have been tiny these days has been a blessing for him).

What makes D an outstanding engineering student (D's NOT an engineer today. He's a slave-driving banker) had made him a consistent trader. He has used logics in a way that helps him in his trading. Yes, it's logical to listen to me coz I'm usually, if not always, RIGHT. Muahahahaha!!!!

Ok, seriously, I think the reason that D is a much better trader than me today (I'm not even trading, and he's been trading daily) is coz D is ok with being BORED. He's not interested in trying out new things as long as what he's doing is making him money. He has been determined in the right way. Despite the many times that I had played pranks on him, and my not answering his questions directly, he had pressed on, believing that he would get consistent one day. Now, he doesn't even recall the silly questions he asked me before (eg. why price hadn't gone where I said it would go). He looks at how much he stands to lose if he's wrong, before he considers anything else.

And yes, I nearly fell out of my chair when I noticed his standard 7-tick stop-loss for the TF. "You mean you can make money with that kind of stop???"

"Yes, honey, you can"

And then he went about doing his own thing, never offering any tips on how he did it.

UNGRATEFUL CREATURE.

D trades on IB mainly, and sometimes on AT platform. IB's DOM is acceptable to him. He looks at just one chart, while I look at too many charts now. I have 3 screens, he has 1. I read too many books, he reads none. I spend too much time watching charts, he spends 2 hours per day - 15 mins before market open and then for about 2 hours when he's trading. I have almost halted all trading, and he is trading daily and has had no losing weeks for 3 MONTHS now.

Something's very wrong with the picture.

Either that, or something's very wrong with me.

JIMMY,
See? Engineers can be very good traders :-)

I've turned comments back on. The community's getting too quiet...

Faith

I've been chatting with a friend during the US trading session lately (yes, a brand new experience for me) and on Friday, just right after he called a top at a certain level, I went long, and was stopped out eventually of course.

Friend said I had no faith in him; I said I have no faith in anyone.

And that's just who I've always been.

I believe that to have faith in another human being is absolutely the worst thing that one could do to himself/herself.

I say this from personal experience, and I don't care if others don't see what I see.

The past year has been the best year of my life, all because I STOP WANTING to have faith in those closest to me.

During the years that I had wanted to believe and have faith, I had spent tremendous amount of energy and time looking for reasons to do so, only to uncover things and witness events that support my hypothesis that people who claim they love me are generally not trustworthy.

I ended up disappointed - utterly enraged in fact - and started launching a series of merciless assaults that caused a lot of heartaches.

It was when I finally stopped having faith, and stopped wanting to have it that I found peace and joy.

Having no faith, and expecting the worst everyday works for me, and I intend to keep it that way.

Trades 6/30 (Tues) - Still Loving 6E

6E

Momentum: Chop, then Down

Blue Arrow: Loser
Green Arrow: Winner

Highlight of the day: my first trade. It was one of those blunders I can't seem to stop making. Put a stop order to buy before candle closed. Usually I'd do that seconds before. Today, I forgot my counter. Entered a tick above way before candle closed - it closed exactly there, and I knew I was in trouble. Price went down to take out my stop without ever going back to my entry price. The 2nd trade was an attempt to immediately get something back from the market to placate myself. An even more stupid mistake than the first.

Turned out that it was good to have D around after all. He saw the red 212 on my 6E DOM, and in the midst of his conference call, he gave 6E the middle finger and a really dirty look for upsetting me early in the morning. I couldn't stop laughing.

We had sushi takeout to celebrate D's birthday. He's now busy sending thank-you replies to friends that sent him birthday wishes via facebook. But he still managed to get his 2 ticks. Yesterday, he took 4 ticks while in the middle of a conference call. Absolutely the King of Multi-tasking.

Am still staying out of ES. It's a DOWN day for crying out loud.

Trade 6/26 (Fri) - Wrap Up & D's Foot

D had a surgical procedure done on his foot this morning, and is not going to be able to walk for a week. For some strange reason, I find his foot very tempting.......TO STEP ON!!

D's annoying. He had refused to cancel his meetings, and since he couldn't hold them in his office, he decided to hold conference calls at home! I served lunch, helped him set up his make-shift office, and while he was on call, I took the chance to enter a 6E trade. Couldn't focus, ended up scratching, and that precipitated a migraine attack that kept me away from my screen for the rest of the Europe hours.

After dinner, whenever I mentioned I was going to see if I can get in on the ES, D would sing me this dreadful rendition of the theme song for a famous HK variety program, and I would burst out laughing each time... totally unable to FOCUS. Missed my 6-tick (which I would have gotten on the 3rd candle after market opened) winner!

So when D wanted to enter short at 913.5, I told him it was going up. D took my word for it - even though he recognized the 2nd entry plus partial rise setup. ES went about 3 points down. Since D was always just aiming for 3 ticks, he was pissed.

But I was PLEASED!!!

To add insult to injury, I remarked that if he had had so much conviction, he wouldn't have hesitated just coz I said it was going up.

I'm HAPPY that I'm ME AGAIN!! LOL!!!!

Anyway, D's up about 300 for the week (that's a lot for someone who aims for one to two 3-tick winners a day), and I'm up 800, so we are not going to kill each other over a few ticks.

Well, actually, I can kill D, but D can't kill me YET. He needs me to bathe him, and wheel him to our smoking corner for his nicotine fix for an entire week.

Hur hur hur.....

6E & ES Trades 6/19 (Fri) - Typical Friday

6E

ES

Losing day to end the week. Textbook.

At 1:30am local time (1:30pm NY), D reported excitedly - as I was coming out from e shower - that ES was finally getting back up. I looked at my chart and told him that's still his market. It's a wave 4, bear broadening wedge, doesn't matter what you call it, it's what sellers live for.

If there's anything I can feel happy about the week/month, it's that POMPOUS D, MY disciple, has had a month of NIL losing day! Yes, 100% winning days with just 1 losing trade. I wish he'd let profits run for more than 3 ticks though. Even with a bear outside bar signal on a strong down day, he would not hold his position. But, he's doing better than me. So I'll shut up just for this week.

AAR

Had I waited til after 2pm to enter the 1st trade of the day (where I'd still have my USD 400 chips to play!):

6E Trades 6/17 (Wed) Wrap Up & Jules The Punisher

Missed ES SetupIt's a bad day. It's bad coz I've finally come to realize that trading is NOT on the top of my priority list. D remains the most important thing in my life, frustratingly so.

I took my last trade without a proper signal and ended up scratching at a 2-tick gain, all because D came home with a headache AGAIN (I wish he would quit his job). His right-hand man drove him right up the wall today.

Anyway, I promised him a massage and he was waiting. I was waiting for my signal for my desired trade but i couldn't stand letting him wait. So I went in knowing that I was chasing price. It was Deja vu that saved me. Been through this too many times, and definitely not making the same mistake again.

Gave up my favorite ES setup too (3rd screenshot above). I was just too frustrated to trade.

Told D about my "problem" - that he's become a MAJOR distraction and obstacle to my trading. Market's not there to wait on me. I'm the one that's doing the waiting, and I deserve the peace-of-mind to trade my setups when they appear. Trading's my bloody job!

I suggested a solution. I asked D if I can ignore him, and put work before him. He agreed.

I'm happy for now.

At least I asked. I'm better than him. And I feel GOOD!!!

Sweet revenge. Took me 15 years!!!