I'm not posting my paper trading results for today. It's been a futile exercise., a total mess to be precise.
Was stopped out thrice right from the beginning, taking a total loss of 500. Was pissed, coz each time, price had gone 5 to 8 ticks in my direction, and the old me would have taken part of that before the stops were triggered.
So I did what any angry trader would do. I scalped my way back using 3 to 4 contracts each time, recovered my 500, and a little more. I know, it was stupid. There wasn't even real money on the line. But the main problem here is that scalping more than half of all those trades just totally defeats the purpose of the exercise
I know exactly what my problem is. I'm impatient. I'm controlling. I'm skeptical. I don't believe in waiting around for 20 points to drop on my lap one day.
So why did I even consider taking that route in the first place? I don't know for sure. But I suspect it's coz I'm IMPATIENT. I don't want to have to be good only 10, or 5 years later. I don't even want to wait 3 or 2 years for that matter.
I'm 3 years away from turning 40. For a woman, that's OLD.
All you guys out there, please don't say anything. If you're 40, You most probably have either one of these:
1) family - wife, kids, dogs, annoying/adorable relatives you hang out with once a week at least
2)friends
3)career
4)hobbies (including porn and such)
5) retirement account
5) Maserati
I'm just frustrated. I spent everyday thinking about how I've wasted another day of my life. I definitely am not looking forward to my birthday.
I don't know if I'll continue to paper trade next week. I've done this too many times - and each time I gave the "holding" mode another shot, I had felt like banging my head against the wall.
Yes, it's been years now - my mood tends to get really foul in June (And of course, the month before it as well).
Off to take it out on the only human being that's sharing my space now.
Was stopped out thrice right from the beginning, taking a total loss of 500. Was pissed, coz each time, price had gone 5 to 8 ticks in my direction, and the old me would have taken part of that before the stops were triggered.
So I did what any angry trader would do. I scalped my way back using 3 to 4 contracts each time, recovered my 500, and a little more. I know, it was stupid. There wasn't even real money on the line. But the main problem here is that scalping more than half of all those trades just totally defeats the purpose of the exercise
I know exactly what my problem is. I'm impatient. I'm controlling. I'm skeptical. I don't believe in waiting around for 20 points to drop on my lap one day.
So why did I even consider taking that route in the first place? I don't know for sure. But I suspect it's coz I'm IMPATIENT. I don't want to have to be good only 10, or 5 years later. I don't even want to wait 3 or 2 years for that matter.
I'm 3 years away from turning 40. For a woman, that's OLD.
All you guys out there, please don't say anything. If you're 40, You most probably have either one of these:
1) family - wife, kids, dogs, annoying/adorable relatives you hang out with once a week at least
2)friends
3)career
4)hobbies (including porn and such)
5) retirement account
5) Maserati
I'm just frustrated. I spent everyday thinking about how I've wasted another day of my life. I definitely am not looking forward to my birthday.
I don't know if I'll continue to paper trade next week. I've done this too many times - and each time I gave the "holding" mode another shot, I had felt like banging my head against the wall.
Yes, it's been years now - my mood tends to get really foul in June (And of course, the month before it as well).
Off to take it out on the only human being that's sharing my space now.
9 comments:
Frankly Jules, WTF are you doing? You're the best scalper I've ever seen. Why would you ever change? I wish I had half your chart reading ability.
Get back to what you know...what you're good at.
I feel the same way a lot of the time Jules (make that much of the time). I wish I had figured out the answer and could share it with you...
In any case, you look pretty and you're smart to boot. Don't give up on yourself!
Oh, and I didn't know porn was a hobby. Heh.
For whatever reason the calling 'hold until target' is strong I wish you much success. I see 2 new pictures; green snake & white snake. Does it relate to Legend of the White Snake story?
Hang in there, Jules. It's been a chop ridden, shitty month and today was the climax of that chop. Do a quick blog surf and see the sentiment. It's a difficult market to trade.
You are not alone, as traders we all share the same feelings of frustration, anger, fear, it just depends on what day of the week it is.
This is a guarantee.
Stay positive, enjoy your weekend.
5th time is a a charm. Made money, then lost it all, made money again, lost it all again, and then again and then a fourth time for good measure.
This is my 5th time, is it my last. No. I will succeed or perish by the sword. Stupid analogy and likely impotent in your state of mind.
I do not lose until I give up. Failure is simply not an option..period.
You want perspective, watch Nick Vujicic...you want comfort eat some ice cream.....but ice cream isn't gonna solve your problem and neither is giving up.
biggie, porn is not a hobby... it's a lifestyle...
and you're not depressed only in june. You are 6 mths pre & post June. Hahaha!!
You don't look a day over 23 ;)
LP,
Why didn't you drop by earlier??? You could have helped me save a lot of money (spent on doing facials)!! LOL!!!
my bad...
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