Wednesday, October 29, 2008

D, D, D!!!!!

Received this text from Seabloke as I was driving home after seeing D off at the airport last Saturday: (D) left? Big ok?

"After all that's happened, nothings not ok anymore" was my reply.

Today's the 5th day that D's been away.

So far, so good.

This is by far the easiest trip that D's made in the 15 years that we've been together - no drama at the airport, no emotional blackmail on my part, no tears, no concern whatsoever over who he's going to be seeing or staying over with.

I must have died on April 26 2008, when he boarded the flight to HK to meet her. I think I died on the way to the airport.

Well, maybe just half dead.

Coz I definitely felt the worst pain in my life in the 2 days that he spent with her while he was there.

Then maybe after that, I died.

No, not quite.

Coz in the 3 months that followed, I continued to LIVE in hell, as secrets that were kept from me began to surface (ok, they didn't surface, I went digging).

My biggest problem is my high threshold for pain. My dentist loves me, my doctors love me, and my beautician (who makes the bravest man tear when she pokes her needle into their zits and drags her sterilized little tools across their faces to extract and collect whatever's inside, then applies antiseptic immediately after that burns their fresh wound) absolutely loves me.

I never made a sound on the dentist's chair, never screamed or curse at anyone when I was in labor at 19, teased my doctor who treated me for second-degree burns coz he looked so shocked to see skin just folding down and falling off me as I walked (no, I didn't call an ambulance) into his clinic, drove 30km home after having a nasty fall while skating alone, with blood flowing freely from exactly where I got burnt years ago, and the only thought on my mind was: "there goes my car! Shit!!!".

I haven't found my match when it comes to putting up with emotional pain.

After losing 3 children, and then followed by 2 pillars of my life, without really feeling anything after I had had a few days to process and digest the new data , I suspect that I'm born with stunted pain receptors.

Then strangely in April this year, my heart ached for the first time. Apart from what D said, what he did killed my heart almost right after it found its beats.

Just a week ago, which was 2 days before he flew, a sleepless D attempted to get me to hug him to sleep. I didn't respond coz I was on medication (something that I take every night to give me 4 hours of very deep sleep). D hadn't really been told of the effect of the medication in the years that I've been taking them, and he never really got to find out coz he 's the fortunate kind that can fall asleep the moment he shuts his eyes.

Anyway, he was really upset, albeit only briefly.

I was confused.

What does D really want?

He doesn't like the burden of being loved, so I stop loving.

He said he doesn't love me anymore, so I don't want to love him either.

But we are each other's greatest pal (so I thought), and I love his jokes, so I don't see why we can't live happily together.

If there ever is a reason that we can't, it would be this: something that starts with the letter "W".

For as long as I live, I will bear in mind that I can't love D.

Not when "W" is alive and kicking!!!

I'm just happy that D's happy in HK, and calls me everyday to chat about his shopping experiences.

Life's just too short for thinking.

I want to do more LIVING.

FX Trades 10/28 - Update

This is what my positions from yesterday look like now:



Ugly.

Monstrous.

Gruesome!

Holding.

Well, maybe just half of it.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

NQ Trades 10/28




So much for today.

D time!!!

In fact I'm talking to him as I type and feeling a little guilty....

FX Trades 10/28

New positions opened today:


This is how it looks now...


*$*%@*$&**

Well, at least it's looking better than 3 hours ago.

NQ Trade 10/28

One daytrade:


15.25 Points x 2

Entry based on signal from 30min chart (click to enlarge):

Monday, October 27, 2008

NQ Trades 10/27 & D (3rd Day In HK)



28.75 Points x 2

Basically just chasing prices on IB's Book Trader.

The benefit of using BT instead of staring at charts is that I have no selling bias.

I got so occupied with what's happening on BT I totally lost track of whether I'm bearish or bullish.

And maybe that's not such a bad thing!

Not tracking PnL. Will let D do that when he gets home.

D is the sweetest.

He actually went in search of my favorite Sergio Rossi shoes yesterday when he was out shopping with his mum. I used to wear only SR until the brand began to disappear from the shop at Hilton Hotel and from On Peddler at Takashimaya. Then he went to check out suede boots, my absolute favorite! He didn't forget those long black halter neck dresses that I love so much. I saw one at Celine once and he remembered. He saw something similar and called to tell me about it.

I haven't the slightest intention to replenish my wardrobe right now, and D knows that of course. But it's such a pleasant surprise that he remembers all my favorite things.

And the best part is, he's gotten my favorite brand of pineapple tarts (not sold here) - 2 boxes with 8 tins that are going to take up a quarter of his luggage!

D is THE BEST!!!!

I'm definitely looking forward to Friday. I miss those tarts!!!

About "United States Is Among The Best Performers. Don’t You Feel Better Now?"

I don't usually attack journalists, column writers, newscasters, and other bloggers, but this one really pissed me off:

Floyd Norris.

Or maybe just his article.

His attempt to paint a rosy picture of the current market crisis is distasteful, to say the least.

The one line in his seemingly well-researched and impartial entry (which really is just a piece of hypocritical BS) that really presses my buttons is this :

You will note that the United States is among the best performers. Don’t you feel better now?

Sure knows how to rub it in!

I love my country, although I really can't stand the weather, and the generally cowardly, selfish people that populate this island. Hence it pains me to see well-educated young men and women joining the unknowing elderly and the less investment-savvy in the suing of what has generally been accepted as our national bank, after it sold them structural Lehman Brother mini bonds that of course have become worthless today.

It's not news that banks do cross-selling and up-selling of products, and most are aware of the risk involved in putting their money into instruments that promise the POTENTIAL of giving you something that's more attractive than the miserable interest offered by fixed deposit accounts.

Relationship managers and other banking personnels have been blamed for unethical selling. Based on my observation, with the exception of a few, most are just doing their job.

I have seen blogs suggesting that their commissions be recalled, and I think that's just atrocious.

The reason that RMs are getting a commission is because they are doing jobs that many people won't do - including me.

Seriously, I'll rather do lowly manual work than to have to SELL, or get out of bed at an ungodly 3am to get my private banker boss' biggest client SALMON SUSHI (Real life story retold by D, who is acquainted with the poor GIRL who crawled out of bed to get sushi).

I've been a relationship manager. I quit because I just couldn't sell anything other than DCIs (currency-related structured product).

I couldn't sell structured bonds, mutual funds and other highly complicated structured products.

The concept and ROI structure of any instrument that I can't reproduce in writing without having to refer to the promotional material and factsheets, I don't sell.

If I have to memorize scripts to get the benefit of a certain product across, I don't sell.

Whenever my clients asked me enough questions to convince me that they have no idea that the things I was up-selling weren't merely fixed deposit accounts with very attractive interest rates (if such FD exists, I'll take my money out of my milo tin now and dump them all there), I moved on to my other prospects.

I wasn't in the business of EDUCATING my clients on investment matters and such. I was a salesperson. I sell. I don't care what the sales experts out there are saying about EDUCATING customers on what one's selling. If your customers know nothing about the product you want to sell them, either bring your business elsewhere, or make sure you give them a test at the end of the crash course you just rammed down their throat, and you don't sell to them unless they pass the test with flying colors.

Having said the above, I have to say that many people DO know what they are buying. But they will still come after you when their investment drop 0.01% in a day. You can make them sign a zillion forms - which I thought in it itself would be enough warning that they are NOT buying candies - and tell them a zillion times that returns is not guaranteed, and they would still breathe down your neck when they are not raking in 20 - 40% profits in a month.

These are people who are afraid to take responsibility for their own finances. They rely on others to make difficult decisions for them. When things go wrong, at least they have someone else to blame. Some resort to hounding their relationship managers until the bank offers them some sort of "goodies" as compensation.

*&%$%&*(#$&(!

I personally know many relationship managers who are good, honest people who invested in the products that they sell themselves. Some of them simply don't have the luxury of selling only products that they understand, because they are pressured to meet the quota set for the sale of a certain "flavor of the month". 2 months of not meeting your quota will invite some serious humiliation that's broadcast via the ever so efficient electronic memo, and 2 more months of underperformance should get you fired.

I had the choice to leave the system, because I don't have a family to feed.

For my male colleagues, they have expensive wives and children to maintain. If they leave their high paying job to explore other less lucrative ventures, they could lose their family.

This is the beginning of a very difficult time ahead. People will get uglier, and family bonds will weaken. Sad, but true. Singaporeans are practical people.

Money is indeed the root of all evil.

And the greenback is the MOST EVIL!!!

But I'm still going to trade the US market of course. I can't see the link between what I'm posting here with my trading activity. I'm not philosophical when it comes to trading. I'm not even patriotic.

Well, the best I can do is to keep SHORTING the NQ.

Ha.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Me, ME, ME!!!!!

2008 Oct 25




D's flown.

It's "ME" DAY!!!

WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, that's me wanting to take a pic of what Gary did to me - my hair, to be precise - this morning (to send to D)....never knew I can use my mirror this way....

I LOVE my new hair color!

Wonder if D's mum will too...

She's not going to like my nicotine addiction - that I'm sure.

Am I really going to have to go cold turkey for 3 days??

Damn!!!

1996 with Celeste
2005 - the year that I had too much chocolate....
1996
2006
The year that I was happy


Friday, October 24, 2008

NQ Trades 10/24




That's it for the day. Not impressive, but my focus' not trading today.

Am giving D a nice massage, then help him to pack and keep him away from his workstation.

USD, D, And Female Traders

Just when everyone's waiting for the opening bell, I'm blogging.

Was having a smoke break with D moments ago, and we talked about our trading account, which is in USD.

I suggested we take half of it out, leaving us with more than enough for margin.

Selling it for Sing dollars.

Instant profits.

D blurted out that we no longer have the figure that I last knew about. A 4-figure drawdown. That's a few %. Which is actually not as bad as I thought. LOL.

D then commented that it seems I am a better trader than him.

I casually agreed.

D was amused.

I had to tell him that women actually make better traders.

That's a fact. LOL!!

Oh, I forced D to read Dr Brett's latest post: "Five Trading Behaviors I'm Seeing Among Traders Making Money Now" before he ventured into the market today.

GIRL POWER!!

FX Trades 10/24 (Closed All Positions) And USD/JPY

Closed all positions from 2 hours ago.
Reasons:
  1. SS turning up in bullish crossover
  2. 60 min candles look like they are forming hammers
  3. Distance of prices from their respective necklines is 3 times that of necklines from top of their HS. Don't want to stretch my luck for today
  4. Going out with D (on leave today to prepare for his trip to HK tmrw), and really don't want to have to worry about my open positions
Hourly Charts: CHF/JPY, CAD/JPY, AUD/JPY


Profit:
$328

Trading Log for 10/24:


Account Summary:


I'm REALLY tempted to short this - The USD/JPY


I'm wondering: is the US beginning to sell their own currency after seeing its value being driven up (by those who snapped up their debt instruments??) steadily over the past months?

As far as I know, they DON'T actually like their currency strong (despite what they claim).

Well, they do owe a lot of people/countries A LOT of greenbacks...if only they can somehow find a way to pay back A LOT less....

But wait, do they still have anything in their reserve to sell?

If they don't, they can always print some, I guess.

Ok, I should stop analyzing the USD and anything else US. They totally confuse me.

Anyway, fundamentals aside, the USD's rally is a correction of 50% (on USD/JPY monthly chart) in a downtrend that began in mid July - about time it resumes its downward trend.

"Control" Basket of FX Pairs And New FX Trades 10/24

Simulated trading platform has now been used as "control" for me to keep track of a basket of selected fx pairs.


All positions were opened together with the real money trades yesterday at 12am EST.

From the time that I entered, all the pairs were showing me a loss.

By 3am EST, the loss for this "control" group was up to $1200 in total, with GBP/USD and EUR/JPY incurring the bulk of the loss.

Strangely, by the time US market opened, GBP/USD was the one that's making me the most money. It was a pity that this had to be the pair that I closed the earliest in my real money trade (at around 3am EST, 3 hours after I entered). GBP has been volatile.

The next pair I closed was EUR/USD.

I broke even eventually (well, not exactly, I made $1.07. Ha ha).

All the yen crosses were closed with a profit.

On FXGame, the basket's showing $2400 profit at 2:30am EST today (about half hour ago).

24 hours ago, it was $1200 in the red (that's the worst it did - lasted for a few minutes, then went back down to a range of -600 to -800, then basket started to show profit - albeit not impressive (300 - 600) - about an hour prior to US market open).

All 9 pairs in the simulated basket are 10,000 mini contracts.

In total, my position was less than a standard lot size.

90,000 units lot for a profit of $2400 in 26 hours; worst retracement came at a cost of $1200.

Gives me an idea of what my stop loss should be in future.

That said, it's premature at this point to determine what an ideal stop loss is for now.

A month (at least) of data collection is in order.

Update (12/17):

- Closed EUR/USD at loss of $1200 (EUR/USD has rallied up from bottom and is now above 20-year resistance at around 1.37).
- Closed AUD/USD at loss of $700

New real money positions opened at around 2:45am EST today:



Entered at limit and waited for order to be filled at "Ask" price.

Hur Hur Hur....

Thursday, October 23, 2008

NQ Trades 10/23

Another one of those crazy days where the candles of the 5 min chart are threaded onto the MAs like kebabs ready to be grilled:


Was paying more attention to the 30min chart to keep track of how much NQ had moved up / down (on a mildly crazy day, a near 40-50 point move is followed by an approximate 20-30 point retracement on the 30min chart).

Entry and exit totally based on what I was seeing on the tape (was using IB's BookTrader).

My eyes are seeing double now, so am calling it a day.


FX Trades 10/23

New positions:


Slipped my mind to sell at "ask" price (I ALWAYS do that, and wait patiently to be filled).

Spread's terrible!

FX Trades - Close Positions

Close Positions. Prices are stalling. Waiting to see if trends are continuing or reversing.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

NQ and FX Trades 10/22

Realized I can't win scalping NQ. None of the contract sizes I've explored seemed right. Was at wit's end....until I took a good look at my 30min chart and saw this: clear consistent patterns.

In a market full of intraday noise, I figured my best play is to go for swings - 1 contract at a time on my favorite 30min chart.

Trade #1:

Went short pre-market (at 4:50am) when NQ was coming down after hitting resistance at 1303. No profit target was set. Hammer prompted exit at 6am.


Trade #2:
Entered long on the 10am candle after NQ bounced off support and when DOW was rising from -500 to -300. Profit target was set at fib retracement of 38.2%, but slowing momentum prompted my intervention before NQ hit that level. Meant to sell at market, but hit "ASK" instead and ended up with 2 long contracts! Sold both immediately and was relieved that NQ was still going up, and I got out at my initial target!


For now:



Exiting EMD at 543...I think...

FX: $717 (Positions are still open)


GBP/USD (on 60min chart) looking really good for shorting now:

NDX And NQ 10/22

NDX Monthly

Chart shows an NDX that has retraced more than 61.8% since its tenacious climb to 2240 (from its 2002 low of around 800).

Where NDX is now is also 2 times the neckline of the HS seen in the monthly chart, and also where fib ext 161.8% is.

Should support at around 1164 fail to hold, NDX could easily nosedive to its 2002 low, or even lower - to 700 ie. fib ext 261.8%
_________________________________________

NDX Weekly


I'm seeing a bear flag.

Where NDX is pausing now seems like wave 4 in the making in the downtrend that began in late 2007.

Weekly chart's not looking good for the bulls.
_________________________________________

NDX Daily


Not looking so good for anyone.

I see:
1) a wedge
2) what looks like either an incomplete or truncated wave 5
3) a double bottom
4) faded gaps (which gives me the feeling that NDX is all set to go down some more)
_________________________________________________

My stand?

NDX will probably make an attempt to hit 1368.

If the resistance holds, NDX could easily plunge back down to around 1190, for starters.

_________________________________________________

NQ 30min


3 resistances:
1318, 1336, 1354

I'm expecting NQ to dive right back down to around 1190 before the end of this week.

FX Trades 10/22

Unrealized Profit: $600 (from yesterday's $400)

On Scalping The NQ

Lord Tedders said this:

Here's my thoughts. Going for 10 points a day with 2-3 trades isn't scalping IMHO. On the NQ a scalp by my sights is about 1-2 points. So you either need 5-10 scalps to reach this target or recognize that you are actually going for larger swings that will require larger stops and significant retracements.

Either of these methods can work but a scalp requires getting in and out fast - you either make it or lose it - no holding on. If you are position daytrading you only have 1-2 trades per day and much larger stops. Also IMHO it is hard to win 10/10 days. 8 or 9 out of 10 ain't bad.

Thanks, LT, for your advice. I noticed too that it's difficult to get beyond 2 points per scalp when scalping the NQ. I've also noticed that it's difficult to run when the trade's going against me by 2 points. I tend to stay too long in a loss, yet not long enough for it to come back to the point where I entered.

Take yesterday for instance - had I sat through the retracement, I would've had made a rather handsome profit.

It's all about not losing your vision.

I lost mine.

I'm not going to blame my state, coz I had chosen to trade despite my not having prepared adequately for the session.

I have to get out of my current mode fast, and get back on track.

Guilt's a totally unproductive state, and I have to get rid of it.

If insane focus on what I'm doing is what it takes to get me to where I want to be, then so be it.

NQ and FX Trades 10/21

NQ's not talking to me anymore:




FX's slightly better: