It's nearly 3am, and I can't sleep.
My trading has sucked since Friday. Even my sim trades sucked big time.
There's just so much going on in the HEART: I feel sad for people, I miss people, and I detest people. It was just a week of emotional roller coaster ride.
Most detrimental was the part where I was reminded for the first time that I am really new at this - something I've managed to push out of mind until the recent saga. While many who are equally new, or have been at this maybe a year or 2 longer have had always wanted to trade, for me, trading was a "hobby" I kind of picked up overnight. It could very well have been Italian, or Spanish...anyway, it's not a good feeling - to have God knows how many out there reading about the silly questions I asked a pompous guru just a little less than a year ago...
Well, to hell with my feelings.
I'm giving posting my daily trading log and PnL another shot. A healthy dose of stress and pressure has always been what motivates me. Without them, I can't move forward. I'm just not the calm and collected kind that is ok with slow and steady growth. I have to put my results out there and myself on the line, while not getting affected by days that I don't perform. It's going to be really hard, but the alternative doesn't seem any better. The right thing to do would be to focus on my long term vision and commitment of course, but it's not something I'm able to do at this juncture. Meanwhile, I can't just sit around waiting for my state to get better. I'll just have to accept that I'm in a lousy state, forgive myself for feeling lousy, and MOVE ON.
I'm giving it a week - I'll be back trading next Monday, and posting my results as I've always done in the past.
My trading has sucked since Friday. Even my sim trades sucked big time.
There's just so much going on in the HEART: I feel sad for people, I miss people, and I detest people. It was just a week of emotional roller coaster ride.
Most detrimental was the part where I was reminded for the first time that I am really new at this - something I've managed to push out of mind until the recent saga. While many who are equally new, or have been at this maybe a year or 2 longer have had always wanted to trade, for me, trading was a "hobby" I kind of picked up overnight. It could very well have been Italian, or Spanish...anyway, it's not a good feeling - to have God knows how many out there reading about the silly questions I asked a pompous guru just a little less than a year ago...
Well, to hell with my feelings.
I'm giving posting my daily trading log and PnL another shot. A healthy dose of stress and pressure has always been what motivates me. Without them, I can't move forward. I'm just not the calm and collected kind that is ok with slow and steady growth. I have to put my results out there and myself on the line, while not getting affected by days that I don't perform. It's going to be really hard, but the alternative doesn't seem any better. The right thing to do would be to focus on my long term vision and commitment of course, but it's not something I'm able to do at this juncture. Meanwhile, I can't just sit around waiting for my state to get better. I'll just have to accept that I'm in a lousy state, forgive myself for feeling lousy, and MOVE ON.
I'm giving it a week - I'll be back trading next Monday, and posting my results as I've always done in the past.
16 comments:
What we don't want is to rush into trades, make bad decisions, experience some losers under non advantageous conditions, and erroneously conclude that it's an impossible task only to go searching for another method.
Whatever you feel puts the odds in your favor while trading, do it. You can bet the profitable players are operating in such a way.
BTW, I, for one, have no idea what those emails are about because I didn’t read them. I'm already convinced you are the good guy (girl). :)
I agree with MvWS. I haven't read, and probably won't ever read, the emails. As your friend, I'm with you 100%, even in the event that you're NOT the good guy (girl) here (which I seriously doubt :-)). Now get some sleep!
I have ZERO interest in reading those emails. I know you're a good egg Jules! :)
I don't even know what emails you guys are referring to...a result of my 15+ hour days I guess :D
Emails? Emails?!? We don't need no stinkin' emails!
Hang in there Jules ;)
MVW,
"What we don't want is to rush into trades, make bad decisions, experience some losers under non advantageous conditions, and erroneously conclude that it's an impossible task only to go searching for another method."
You read my mind :-) ya, I switched to looking at bars instead of candles, and just wasn't used to them. And I bought high and traded during lunch when price was just consolidating and shook me out a few times. It's frustrating, and I felt really stupid.
I'm actually ok with friends reading those mails, just not strangers or TCS' friends...I don't warm up to people easily, and I hate having people I don't know reading things I tell only to friends. I'm sure it's an ego thing...when I read those emails again, I just think I sounded really ignorant and naive, and WAY TOO NICE.
Thank you for stopping by. It's nice to wake up to such a heart-warming note :-)
JE :-)
I actually hate those emails coz I sounded too nice! LOL! I wish I were mean, closed-minded, and knew what I was talking about. And when chided, I should have just told the person off, instead of using humor to lighten the mood. I've not been in there since he took out D's info, and I certainly don't wish to go in there again. I wish those emails will just self-destruct. I like me MEAN. LOL!!
Thank you for dropping by :-)
:-) Thank you, DT. I don't want to be a good egg. I want to kick ass! LOL!
EP,
how are you coping? full-time school and work sounds IMPOSSIBLE. 2 more semesters you mentioned?
Jimmy,
ya, the emails are disturbing. They suck. But I should be fine in a couple of hours..i hope..it's day 3, i should get over it soon. Anyway, people will soon lose interest in what is a very small saga in the blogosphere. I just don't like it that my country is so small, and the trading circle even smaller, that people reading it are probably those in the community that I used to be in. I have a cool image to keep, and now I'm no longer cool. Stinks!
You sounded girly, and cute in those emails. It was bad of me to read em, and I did so for various reasons, but the main reason was probably because as an online gamer for more than half my life, I find flame wars entertaining.
For those who've missed out, too bad, because it seems TCS made that blog private, probably in fear of copyright issues.
I think it was bad that TCS quit his readership simply from a bloggo war, and I think it was 10x worst that he associated his going private to it. This is not 5th grade!
Ed :-)
Nah, i never thought it was bad for people who know me to read them. I'm just particular about people who don't know me, or people that I don't like, to be reading my private mails. I'm a difficult woman :-)
Ya, actually, flame wars are really great reads, I enjoy them in my free time LOL!! Human nature!
Well, I'm glad the blog's gone private. I prefer my mature image LOL!
So did you sell yesterday during the open? Think that was the only part of the session that was easy to sell, unless you were just scalping. But even scalping was hard in the 2nd part of the session. Did you see those huge bid orders disappearing at the start? And price just went south? You still read tapes? Or using just footprints you've added to you chart?
I had to read those emails just so I can have an informed opinion. It reminded me of the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', Little did TS know, Jules is from Mar too. :-)
Yeah I just glanced at level 2 once awhile, but there were some frantic side switchings. I just posted what I did today, it was good and bad, :).
I'm mainly using renko to see price movement, glancing on level2, and seeing volume behavior (buy/sell/total volume increasing/decreasing). The volume at price does not seem useful to me as it clutters, and one look at chart can guess where all the volume was at (where most bars overlap, and on fibonacci retracements).
It's quite draining but I'm dead set on finishing up my degree now. I have two more quarters and should be finishing up around March, 2010.
I really miss trading! I try to keep up with the blogs and live vicariously through you guys :)
Cory :-)
yes I was born in mars and ended up in venus. Damn.
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