I took a break and went out with Michael, my trading coach.
We talked about many things. I told him that I have been very afraid these days, and I can't seem to snap out of it. Michael asked what it is that I'm afraid of, and left me with these words to ponder on:
"It's just money"
Michael is one of the coolest, if not absolutely the coolest, trader I've ever met. His are the only trading statements I've seen (trainers and coaches can claim how good they are, but without the statements to support, they can say whatever they want and they aren't going to convince me, not anymore) - and each new batch of students sees his months of trade logs/ statements updated to the last day he receives his statements - and they simply confirm my belief that he is without a doubt good - DAMN GOOD!!
I asked if trading is stressful for him. He said no, unless he's trading other people's money, and if he has to explain his trades as he's making a move (he holds live trading classes).
When trading his own account, Michael's NOT trading scared money. He takes his profit and cuts his losses according to what the market tells him. I take my profits and cut my losses based on the level of adrenaline that has built up in my system.
Unlike many celebrity trainers here in the local scene, Michael's extremely low-profile, grounded, and calm. He trades every single day, throughout the US session. He teaches once a week, and he's probably never going to give it up. His knowlege of the market and the instruments he trades is so deep that if you were to ask him what tells him that the market's going up or down, you'll always get the same answer: INTUITION. That's always good enough for me, coz I'd rather have that than his thesis.
Michael said that my postings from way back showed that I had a different approach towards trading then - I talked about volatility, about emotions in the market and such - and I kind of get where he was going with that.
Somehow, along the way I've veered off course and am now desperately wanting to get back on track.
Something that he suggested, which HPT did too, was to really cut down on the number of hours that I spend in front of my screen. Another thing is to go back to look for my edge - a deep understanding of single instrument. Forget fib, forget waves, and a whole bunch of other stuff, he said.
This will be the umpteenth time that I'm going back to my very old postings to grasp what I was really doing then. Sounds odd, but that's what this is about. I've changed, the way I think about and approach the market and trading have changed - not for the better, unfortunately.
I know that this is going to come out sounding REALLY wrong, but I think it's time that I stop looking TOO HARD for reasons to enter a trade, as well as reasons to NOT trade.
When you try too hard, the market slaps you really hard too. I say this from personal experience.
I remember the words I used to use to describe the market: fluid, dynamic, eccentric, erratic. I accepted the market as such then. These days, I try so hard to make sense of it, to identify the structure that guides it, and the harder I try, the more success evades me.
There are a lot of things that I don't know about the market still, but I know this about me: I need to be cool. Cool like Michael, cool like I was before. Nothing else is going to help me. I need my cool back. I need to go back to NOT being able to explain my trades. Yes, it sounds wrong. But what was seemingly wrong had worked for me, and everything that's seemingly "correct" and "proper" hasn't.
Update:
D is a super fast learner. I shared with him exactly what I had written above, an hour before market open, and I wasn't even sure he understood my babbling.
But he apparently did.
He just took 2 points on the ES. FOR THE FIRST TIME, D took 2 points!!! D usually flees with 3 ticks!!!
We talked about many things. I told him that I have been very afraid these days, and I can't seem to snap out of it. Michael asked what it is that I'm afraid of, and left me with these words to ponder on:
"It's just money"
Michael is one of the coolest, if not absolutely the coolest, trader I've ever met. His are the only trading statements I've seen (trainers and coaches can claim how good they are, but without the statements to support, they can say whatever they want and they aren't going to convince me, not anymore) - and each new batch of students sees his months of trade logs/ statements updated to the last day he receives his statements - and they simply confirm my belief that he is without a doubt good - DAMN GOOD!!
I asked if trading is stressful for him. He said no, unless he's trading other people's money, and if he has to explain his trades as he's making a move (he holds live trading classes).
When trading his own account, Michael's NOT trading scared money. He takes his profit and cuts his losses according to what the market tells him. I take my profits and cut my losses based on the level of adrenaline that has built up in my system.
Unlike many celebrity trainers here in the local scene, Michael's extremely low-profile, grounded, and calm. He trades every single day, throughout the US session. He teaches once a week, and he's probably never going to give it up. His knowlege of the market and the instruments he trades is so deep that if you were to ask him what tells him that the market's going up or down, you'll always get the same answer: INTUITION. That's always good enough for me, coz I'd rather have that than his thesis.
Michael said that my postings from way back showed that I had a different approach towards trading then - I talked about volatility, about emotions in the market and such - and I kind of get where he was going with that.
Somehow, along the way I've veered off course and am now desperately wanting to get back on track.
Something that he suggested, which HPT did too, was to really cut down on the number of hours that I spend in front of my screen. Another thing is to go back to look for my edge - a deep understanding of single instrument. Forget fib, forget waves, and a whole bunch of other stuff, he said.
This will be the umpteenth time that I'm going back to my very old postings to grasp what I was really doing then. Sounds odd, but that's what this is about. I've changed, the way I think about and approach the market and trading have changed - not for the better, unfortunately.
I know that this is going to come out sounding REALLY wrong, but I think it's time that I stop looking TOO HARD for reasons to enter a trade, as well as reasons to NOT trade.
When you try too hard, the market slaps you really hard too. I say this from personal experience.
I remember the words I used to use to describe the market: fluid, dynamic, eccentric, erratic. I accepted the market as such then. These days, I try so hard to make sense of it, to identify the structure that guides it, and the harder I try, the more success evades me.
There are a lot of things that I don't know about the market still, but I know this about me: I need to be cool. Cool like Michael, cool like I was before. Nothing else is going to help me. I need my cool back. I need to go back to NOT being able to explain my trades. Yes, it sounds wrong. But what was seemingly wrong had worked for me, and everything that's seemingly "correct" and "proper" hasn't.
Update:
D is a super fast learner. I shared with him exactly what I had written above, an hour before market open, and I wasn't even sure he understood my babbling.
But he apparently did.
He just took 2 points on the ES. FOR THE FIRST TIME, D took 2 points!!! D usually flees with 3 ticks!!!
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