Crude - My Joy & Pain - & A Sad Story

CL 10min

CL 10min Zoom Out

I must have changed my mind at least a dozen times about where oil is going. Stopped out thrice (2 full stopouts, 1 stopped on trailed). Frustrating but am starting to get used to it.

Am disappointed that I couldn't hold the last trade (shown on chart above) to 79.10 target (S1). It was 20 mins before oil inventory report, and price wouldn't plunge even after making new lows. I chose to play defensive.

D felt my moodiness and kept wanting to cheer me up.

Correction: he SAW my moodiness - oil plunged way way beneath S1 after news release.

I have done everything that isn't in my nature to do - all for the sake of trading well - and I just wish that I'll learn to at least give myself a pat on the back once in a while.

But that's REALLY not in my blood.

My 3 stopped out entries (Red for short; blue for longs):


On a very sad note, D's office cleaner collapsed today and couldn't be revived. It was discovered later that he had a hole in his heart. He was just 30. The really sad part was that none of the 50 over personnel in the office that were crowding around him rendered or called for any help. It was only when D approached them that he knew what happened. He told the crowd that if there wasn't anything else they were going to do, they should at least clear out and give the man some air. D called the ambulance. When he learnt that the man didn't make it, he had his staff send an envelope around to raise funds for the cleaner's family. He was appalled to learn that only a fraction of those who had gathered around the cleaner had made a contribution. That's the private banking department of one of the BIGGEST banks in the world, and most earn a very decent income, and only a handful was willing to do something for the man who had helped them clean their work space everyday.

I don't know what to say.

Globex Slowmo

6E 10min

6E 10min Zoom Out

Am still a little bearish on 6E, and got out of my short only coz 6E looks like it wants to go back up to test pivot, and I don't want to play. Need my nap before US market opens.

D's Losing Sleep Tonight

TF 10min

D's a little upset.

But he didn't lose his humor.

"Look on the bright side" he said, "it shows you're damn good!!!"

D will have clean laundry for the rest of the month.

Not-So-Crappy Day

NG 10min

NG 10min Zoom Out

I stuck with the instrument I wanted to trade today, as well as my BIAS.

I wrote down the time that I expected to see at least a setup, then I went to take my 3 hour nap.

Got up and saw what I wanted to see (not the EXACT picture, but close enough).

Above all, the stop was right (USD 100).

Told my inner voice to shut up, and entered short.

Managed my position like a robot, and got out near my first target (green line).

Didn't wait for price to hit target coz the globex spread was horrendous and I needed to get out at a level that was not likely to invite violent reactions. BIGGEST single reason that I got out was coz D (who just got home) announced that news just came out that oil and gas were DOWN. That was enough reason for me to get out.

Not going to BUY anything, so will wrap up for the day. Watching TF with D. He's been hitting 1-point per trade for the past few sessions. Not bad considering that he used to run with 3 ticks.

Account balance to-date

Funds transferred out of account on Dec 28 2009, leaving account balance at 10k.

USD 514 is from today's NG trade:

CL & GC 10mins

I have a new problem: I run away from trades that I have been waiting for for HOURS (6 for yesterday's CL trade, which was the number of hours I told D that I needed to wait before I could short oil and gold). I just needed oil to hit a new high for the day without MACD doing the same. When it seemed like oil was just about to do that, I had to go buy gold.

It's been the 3rd week. I would know what my charts would do at what time but when the time came, I would flee and trade something that's crappy (I suspect it's my subconscious telling me crappy trades are more fitting for me). I'm not complaining about the net 200 loss at the end of yesterday's session. I just need to know what the hell is wrong with me so I can work out a SOLUTION.

I hate to have to see my shrink. But if I don't stop doing the unthinkable on a daily basis, I would have to start harassing her again (imagine a patient that declares it's NOT her parents' fault right at the onset - leaving the poor lady with pretty much nothing to work with).

A Load Of Crap

CL & GC 10mins

I have a new problem: I run away from trades that I have been waiting for for HOURS (6 for yesterday's CL trade, which was the number of hours I told D that I needed to wait before I could short oil and gold). I just needed oil to hit a new high for the day without MACD doing the same. When it seemed like oil was just about to do that, I had to go buy gold.

It's been the 3rd week. I would know what my charts would do at what time but when the time came, I would flee and trade something that's crappy (I suspect it's my subconscious telling me crappy trades are more fitting for me). I'm not complaining about the net 200 loss at the end of yesterday's session. I just need to know what the hell is wrong with me so I can work out a SOLUTION.

I hate to have to see my shrink. But if I don't stop doing the unthinkable on a daily basis, I would have to start harassing her again (imagine a patient that declares it's NOT her parents' fault right at the onset - leaving the poor lady with pretty much nothing to work with).

Seablokes' World

obvious which is the cheeky one....

Seabloke Underwater

SEAFOOD!!!!!!!

Seabloke #2: Kelly

Kelly with daughter (D's niece)

Eclectic Friday

All trailed exits (well, not exactly - stops were manually moved to nearest market structure high/low)

Cl and ZS ran a decent distance - considering the typical chops seen lately - of up to 200 before turning back to take out my stops. An outcome I am still learning to accept as part of the swing trading game.

Most, if not all, of the trades taken were counter-trend trades, especially 6E. Some were on a 3rd push down setup, others were attempts to fade gaps (only where pivots were above gaps).

Am still torn between trading both globex and US session and US SESSION EXCLUSIVELY. Trading both is a real pain coz I'll get overlapping (or more aptly, CONFUSING) signals. More important is that the opportunity costs for missing on really good runs in a couple of those tickers during the US session is extremely high.

Disgusting Algo

I finally got my 8 hours' sleep.....wait, from 5am to 2:30pm - omg, that's like nearly 10 hours! Considering that I haven't slept for more than 3 each day for the past WEEKS, that's a real compensation.

Was staring at the same ugly chart yesterday that Solfest was looking at. I started staring at it at 3am ET. Had no idea what in heaven's name it was doing - its starting above pivot and piercing it subsequently and coming back up during the globex session was enough to suggest that trading it wasn't going to be easy on my nerves, to say the least.

So crude ended up not getting near enough to its high from the day before, and not wanting to get back beneath pivot. I was long first, aiming for 83.50, then short, aiming for 80.95. Neither worked out of course. When I was short, I kept telling D that "the bitch just won't die!!!". If you've seen Solfest's chart, you'll understand my frustration. Some entities, forces, whatever you call them - kept supporting price above pivot!

D went to bed and I continued to stare at my charts til 5am, when I finally threw in the towel. Scratched it at breakeven.

The next time I see crude, I will pimp slap it.

An interesting development today: my agent called to tell me that I've been shortlisted for a Macdonald's TV ad, which I turned down of course.

Of all the fast foods, I hate Macdonald's the most. It gives me serious rashes and migraine WITHOUT fail everytime I eat it.

But that's not the reason that I rejected the job.

I hate the entire modelling industry. That's THE reason.

My List

10 things I love:
1) Al, Keish, D
2) Seabloke, Pilot, Gremlins
3) Hugh Dillon
4) J
5) Quiet
6) Clean Air
7) BOOKS
8) Ice-Cream
9) Trees
10) My Piano

10 things I hate:
1) Trading
2) Trading
3) Trading
4) Trading
5) Trading
6) Trading
7) Trading
8) Trading
9) Trading
10) Trading

Everest Or K5?

One of Austin's videos that I really like.



You can find his other videos here.

Many reading this post are going to start hating me - that is, if you don't already. And that's fine. I'm not here to please. I like to speak my mind, and I like to share what has been of value to me.

I mean, I did mention that this is MY DIARY.

I'm not Austin's client, and I do not benefit in anyway from your accepting his philosophies and beliefs in trading. The main reason that I'm "promoting" Austin's teaching is that I have nothing else better to do. Market's dead, I need a break in between my studies, and I'm extremely annoyed by people out there who don't trade themselves but yak a lot of crap about trading that's rather TOXIC.

Before you dismiss what I have to say about holding for profits and trading multiple instruments, be reminded that I have been a scalper myself who used to trade just the ER2, then the ES ONLY. I made money in my first year of trading scalping the ER2 - that was Aug 2008. I fumbled it in 2009, although the damage was not catastrophic FOR ME. I still scalp well today - if I don't overtrade, and if I don't hear from my mum, I make money 90% of the time. But the 10% of the time that I had messed up, I had put a huge dent in my trading account. It would take me a long time to recover from the shock of such drawdowns, and it would take me a very, very long time to recover the money that was thrown away, simply coz my profit for each trade was just too minuscule compared to my cost of trading ie. the wide stops that I used.

I'm not the type to stick with something that doesn't work. I have the habit of constantly throwing out things - including methods, systems, theories, hypothesis etc etc that I have painstakingly put together - once I'm satisfied they are a waste of my time.

But that's just me of course. I'm not suggesting that that's THE WAY to learn. What I'm saying is that there's a lot of garbage out there and it's so important to periodically sift through what's in your knowledge bank and be able to tell the junk from the gems and be willing to just toss out the former in a heartbeat.

I do not condemn scalpers. But I do condemn those who are in a position to scalp an instrument like the ES (for instance, market makers & REBATE traders) who encourage the average retail traders to take that route. Scalping is just NOT for everyone.

Here , and here are easier reads on rebate trading.

10 Items Or Less

What's with the good Doctor??????!!

I start my day EVERYDAY knowing there're data releases (though I do forget the time of release from time to time) and not giving a damn about what market's expectations are. And I most certainly do not have any thoughts regarding where market's likely to go as a result of these expectations not being met.

No wonder I start my day everyday completely CLUELESS.

Nothing much went on today. Crude inventory report totally destroyed my chart - not that it was pretty before - after all the sweat and blood I've put in to prepare for the session, all I could do once market opened was sit and watch. Traded soybean instead and gave up 200 profit once, then 100, while waiting for price to hit what was to me a very reasonable target of yesterday's high.

Well, at least I ended the day in the black.

My quiet inner world's a tad dark though.

Was watching "10 Items or Less" (for the 2nd time this week) during dinner, and couldn't get Morgan Freeman out of mind after that.

The movie is one of my favorites. Totally baffles D. I love the part where Freeman asks Scarlet to name her 10 keepers. And I melt everytime I watch the final scene where Freeman touches Scarlet's face gently, telling her they will never see each other again. It's so sad I could cry.

I've been thinking, if I were only allowed to keep 10 things, or less, for the rest of my life, what would they be.

D's keepers: Al, Keish, Me - that's ONE item; his mum, dad and sister; his home; his car; his money; his first car; INTERNET SERVICE; the COMPUTER; HIS JOB (!!!!)

Tharp Trader Test

Gav & MBA: I'm sold. Took the test, and realized I took it more than a year ago.

Result's the same.

If only I had paid attention to the warning on lifting stops, I would have been richer by thousands of dollars.

I Want To Kill Myself

I could really kill myself. Waited for this since 7am ET and gave up just before it gave me my signal (with 10 min, I have only ONE chance to enter). This is not the end of the move. 2min needs to show a divergence. I'm sure that this thing is looking for 5.598. That's a near USD 2000 move from my trigger.

I need to stop taking crappy trades. Dropping FX futures is the first step.

Freakin Market

Absolutely nothing is alive.

Felt really sore about having thrown away nearly USD 400 in a dead market and switched to scalping mode to recover my money. Had all my charts opened and traded every damn pattern that I recognized and got out before it failed.

Desperate situation calls for desperate measures.

The only thing that's keeping me happy now: Al's soft paws on my face when I sleep.

Crude Mess

I was really looking forward to trading on Jan 4.

So much so that I've not been able to sleep since Saturday.

I'm not kidding.

Came Jan 4 and I could barely keep my eyes open. Took a nap and got up at the open of the Europe session.

I've been shorting crude oil near 80 since Thurs (last trading day of the year) and getting stopped at breakeven each time. And finally when I gave up, it plunged 50 cents at the final hours. That was 10 minutes after I scratched my trade.

Anyway, I opened my chart yesterday at 2am ET and saw that crude was crawling up again. Didn't matter that it was trading above pivot and above MA and had made no swing lows, and didn't matter that my reading told me that I should totally go LONG - "it just can't keep going higher" was all that was on my mind.

Breaking 80 must have really exhausted the bulls I thought and I shorted it exactly where I would have gone long in the past, and then shorted it again when it made a high for the 2nd time.

My stop was fairly tight (I knew I was trading against trend) and I was stopped out for 100 in total.

3rd stop went totally wrong. I was stopped out for 6 ticks more than what I had set.

Didn't lose my cool though. When price hit R3 and took a pause there, I decided that crude can most definitely keep going higher. So I went long on a "inverted scallop" or Al Brook's "double bottom bull flag" pattern (also what Long and Wrong called "buy an uptrend cheaply to maximize profit, and minimize cost should I be wrong"), aiming for target at R4.

I scratched my long after some really fierce bear bars threatened to take out my stop.

As fate would have it, price didn't get anywhere near my stop, and continued soaring towards R4 instead.

But by then I was already in another short.

When price broke R4, I covered. Well I thought I did. I realized seconds later that I had entered another short instead. Just as price was shooting up. Lovely.

Since that would have been the 4th time that price was making a new high, and R4 has almost been the furthest that crude would go, I decided to just sit and see what happened.

Sure enough, price came tumbling down after making its newest high. So I was effectively averaging down. Got out at a USD 200 loss when price couldn't go any lower, it seemed. That was surely better than the - USD 1000 I was looking at before.

I'm just thrilled. A brand new year and I've started to do things I've never done before - fading the highs on a wildly bullish day and averaging down.

As I said, PnL to be posted at end of each month.

Here's the mess:

Clean Slate

This an account separate from all the others. I'll be taking only intraday swing trades. There's no target, and there's no timeline. Instruments that I'll be trading: CL, NG, GC, ZS, ZC, 6E, 6J, 6S, 6B, TF, ES. I'll be using my Infinity Futures account on top of this account during the US session

Trading Courses & Coaches

Revisiting an issue that I hold dear to my heart: Good Coaches vs False Teachers

Austin's starting his 5k (correction: just noticed it's 2.5K... Unbelievable...) project in Jan 2010. Am excited to see how it turns out.

D took a 1 point winner trading the TF on Thurs while listening to Austin. He usually runs after 3 ticks MAX.

I always say we tend to listen to strangers and acquaintances.

But who can blame us?

Family sabotages.

Except you, Seabloke, of course... I am still invited to CNY reunion dinner... RIGHT???

Trading Courses & Coaches

Revisiting an issue that I hold dear to my heart: Good Coaches vs False Teachers

Austin's starting his 5k (correction: just noticed it's 2.5K... Unbelievable...) project in Jan 2010. Am excited to see how it turns out.

D took a 1 point winner trading the TF on Thurs while listening to Austin. He usually runs after 3 ticks MAX.

I always say we tend to listen to strangers and acquaintances.

But who can blame us?

Family sabotages.

Except you, Seabloke, of course... I am still invited to CNY reunion dinner... RIGHT???

2009 - Reflection

Strangely, I haven't much to say about the year that's gone by just too quickly. There was no drama, no tragedy, no sufferings. Absolutely the best year of my life.

Makes me wonder, is sadness really merely a product of our own imagination? If we haven't the time to think about things that make us sad, do we then naturally live happily regardless of what happens around us?

I try and I try but my mind's drawing a blank. I simply have nothing to say. I have been living each day as it comes, and when it's gone, I can hardly remember what it was like.

Maybe this is the life that I've been longing for since I was a child.

For the first time in my life, I am happy.