Thursday, October 2, 2008

NQ and FX (Simulated) Trades 10/2

3 scalps:





Got home 10 minutes after the opening bell, and by the time I settled down, I've missed the much awaited plunge.

Well, I wouldn't have gotten in anyway, even if I've gotten back before market opened, coz I've been away the entire day (was home for an hour when the clinic closed for dinner - to feed and keep Keisha company as she has been acting really strange with Al coming and going - and had barely 10 minutes to look at my FX charts before I had to leave to pick up D, who was anxious to visit Al).

On any given day, for me to have any conviction to swing that plunge, I would have to start watching NQ before 7amEST, latest.

Anyway, I scalped, and had to sit through 1 retracement each for the 2nd and 3rd entry.

Knowing the behavior of the instrument has proven to be as important as knowing myself when it comes to deciding when to cut loss.

In time, I might be taught a lesson that would crush my confidence - for now, the behavior of NQ before lunch is something that I've become rather familiar with, and without any drastic change in market sentiments, I'll trust what I'm seeing on my chart and the lines I've drawn that I've kept for days:


In green is the time frame where all my trades today were taken:


I've hit my daily target, and it's the time of the day that I'm supposed to stay away from the market.

So, am calling it a day.

FX positions opened at 10am EST:

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

NQ 10/1 - AAR

Just thought I'll do a brief AAR for my simulated trade today:

So, I didn't get an entry before 9:30am EST - needed NQ to test 1588 (pink dotted line on 30min chart below), and it didn't do that until market opened.

NQ 30min


Switched to 5min and 1min charts after market opened, and waited for NQ to break out of 1580 to 1588 range.

When it did, 1min chart was used to ensure that movement was going to be DOWN all the way - at least for the whole time that I'm in position.

Got in and out of my position within the 10 am candle on the 5min chart.

Reason for exit: the range of that candle was about the length of the bear flag pole, and I was getting uncomfortable (no math involved, just my eyes doing some primitive estimation).

After I got out, NQ went down an additional 6 points before retracing.

Didn't bother me.

The only feeling I have after closing a winning trade has always been that of relief.

I don't have to get greedy - the 10 contract size has been effective in keeping greed at bay, for me.

Having a daily target helps too.

NQ 5min and 1min


Black dotted line at the bottom of the 30min chart was my DREAM profit target (it's possible for NQ to hit that today, I think). It's also a support that I'd use if NQ were to continue to plunge and if I were to trade the after-lunch session.

With NQ, I've been trading ONLY the 1) pre-market, 2) before-11am, and 3) after-2pm sessions. These seem to be my money windows - giving me profitable trades that don't make me sweat first.

The prevailing bearish sentiment and atmosphere of uncertainty is something I can use to plan my FX trades for tomorrow.

It's past mid-night here - time for me to take a shower and hit the bed.

Sending Al back to the clinic tomorrow morning. He will have to stay there for a few days so that he can get his drip to flush out the enzymes that are making him sick. I'm going to have to bring a good book to read - if I can't bear leaving him behind, I'll stay with him til clinic closes.

So, likely to open FX position during US market open. Not my favorite play, but if the market offers an opportunity, I'll take it.

NQ (Simulated) Trade 10/1 - Done For The Day!

Finally, MY PLUNGE!! Not awefully impressive; still a plunge (on 5min) nonetheless


Totally worth the wait!



This is by far the best - went into profit immediately. Thanks to Book Trader (Actually, thank you, HPT, for demo on your site. I didn't even realize there's such a tool on IB).

Total P&L for FX and NQ : $3277

FX (Simulated) Trades 9/30 and 10/1 - Closed Positions



Closed all positions at 9:44am EST.

They are distracting.

Total FX P&L for 9/30 and 10/1: $2275.42

NQ time!!

GBPUSD Trending Down

GBPUSD's looking really good for shorting (scalp - BB on hourly chart widening, and daily chart shows a support that's not so near that it makes you want to run today).

Simulated trade on the pair is now making a decent profit:


GBPUSD Hourly:


GBPUSD Daily:

FX (Simulated) Trades 9/30 - Update

Not as ugly as 10 hours ago...


Daily charts are still looking good. Not getting out.

FX (Simulated) Trades 10/1 - New Positions

New positions.

Current PnL: $833.33

Closing position (not waiting for price target to be hit) coz:

- hourly charts are hitting resistance,
- BB is not widening, and
- most importantly, daily charts are not supporting hourly trend.

Just meant to be a scalp anyway.

Hourly Charts


Still holding trades from 9/30

NQ 9/30 & FX 9/30 - Update

It's 11am (11pm EST) - got up 3 hours ago (it's a public holiday, so I didn't have to get up at 7 to make breakfast. D is still in slumberland... I have to type VERY SLOOOOOWLY to not wake him up....).

Saw Al lying on D's tummy (I have to say I was a little jealous coz back at our old home, Al's ALWAYS on mine) when I woke up. He has been happy coz for the first time since we move in to our new home, he's been allowed into the bedroom (Other times he could only watch us through the glass door that separates the living room from our studies).

I'm happy too coz he actually demanded food! For the first time in 3 days!

I fed him, watched him eat, and watch him do all his peeing and pooing (no it's NOT a fetish - jeez that's twisted - I need to help the staff at the clinic keep a record...), then followed him around as he looked for a spot to be massaged, and he just couldn't make up his mind, as usual (what's with cats??)!

Massaged him for a while, then made my own breakfast.

Sat down in front of my computer with my breakfast.

Turned on my monitor, and this was what greeted me:


And this:


Ok, so far so good. At least I now have some sort of idea how my PnL fluctuates over time when I keep my positions opened.

Whenever I open my position at 2 -4 am EST, keeping them to 9:30am EST will usually turn them from green to red (ie profit to loss).

Still it depends on what I'm trading.

For the past few sessions, I've been trading mostly JPY crosses, and I've not really studied my hourly charts to see if they usually retrace/correct during US market open, so any conclusions made at this point would be premature at best.

Yesterday was the first time I open positions during US market open.

I was making about $300 plus in total for the 3 pairs before I turned off my computer to serve the masters of my household (Al and D only - Keisha is THE OTHER little slave girl) at 4pm EST.

Extremely slow movements - compared to the $2000 to $3000 plus that would have had been made in the same span of time (ie. about 1 hour into trading) during europe market open.

Well, we'll see what happens later for both NQ and my FX trades.

D's up.

Time for a smoke!

NQ 9/30 and FX 9/30



Clear bearish divergence.

If you're not plunging today, you're likely to plunge tomorrow.

If you don't, that means my FX is continuing to make money.

Hur Hur Hur.....

My FX Trading Screen - Jumble Land!

On my FX screen:


Second Row: In trade (Simulated)


First Row: Waiting

Third Row: Maybe....

Fourth Row (esp GBPCHF): Not quite sure what they are doing

4 JPY crosses on the right: No play.... false hope in the market's likely going to keep them hovering around support

FX (Simulated) Trades 9/30

Nothing to do for NQ - it's still going up, although MACD has been showing bearish divergence since market opened?

Traded FX instead. Entry time: 2:50pm EST


This is the P n L for now


Wating for short entry for EURUSD and AUDUSD. Hourly chart's not showing what I want to see yet. But soon.....

NQ 9/30 - When Will You Plunge??



2 hammers on 1min chart sending NQ from 1557 to 1564. BB is widening, suggesting NQ might just continue to go up to 1567, albeit visibly painstakingly?

Plunge, NQ, PLUNGE!!!

After lunch.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

NQ 9/30



Think I'm looking at a bear flag + head & shoulders in the making...

The backbreaking climb up today from yesterday's plunge is telling of a market that's not taking the failed bailout very well YET.

Having said that, as I'm writing, I'm seeing a failed bear flag.

Still a laborious climb up though.

A confused market where bears are not sure if the market has seen its worst yesterday and are covering, and bulls are baffled, beat and BROKE?

If NQ doesn't hit and stay above 1575, it might just give the bears some nerve to hammer it down on the bulls.

As always, I'm waiting for the PLUNGE.

To 1540, then 1520?

Let it be 1520!!!

Wonderful Gmargtrader

After this posting yesterday, gmargtrader sent me something that I could really use (see chart below - to see enlarged version, please visit gmargtrader's blog at http://gmargtrader.blogspot.com/ or click on link above), with the following comment:

I have tried to make a picture. You can find it here:

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf7MiEULQN8fNIPGgsBZpw-EsNCb1bt9i9hJKquBHpPa7OvAAVrzHv5ho64YkkxOl8p8jH11Z8_c_Gl1HXW2kE7-_RMu9Wft8gTES_Iq9bbc5qLKHRfxnT-9a8WzSpFV4Q6u6j1og6VULp/s1600/Sep+26+NQ+(5min)_mov.JPG
or
http://gmargtrader.blogspot.com/

the first picture.

If you want I can write something about SL settings.

Greetings



A big THANK YOU, gmargtrader! :-)

Al's Home!!

Alberto's back home. On vet's recommendation, as tomorrow is a public holiday here. He will be brought back to the clinic on Thursday to continue his treatment.

I've decided to remove my rant about the clinic, because after staying there with Al for almost 5 hours, I saw how gentle the staff were with the animals there. They were really concerned about stressing Al and so had decided not to do anything to him other than giving him what he absolutely needs to get better.

Al's much better now.

He was REALLY fierce. On the cages of the animals placed there, there would be instructions on handling - usually notes like "pls give XXX diet", "renal problem", etc.

Al's was "FIERCE".

Seabloke dropped by (a very pleasant surprise, coz I told her I needed no company and that she didn't have to take the trouble to get there), and was utterly amused by the label.

Anyway, I had to help change Al's food and towels coz any other hands that get pass the cage door get scratched or bitten.

In that few hours that I stood by his cage, I saw huge dogs and all kinds of felines went in and out of the surgical room and their cages, being handled by just one staff each. When they needed to take Al's drip out, 2 big male nurses and a lady nurse were deployed to subdue him. Al's big and mighty powerful, extremely antagonistic and his attacks extremely deadly when he feels threatened (just like the owner).

But he's home now. And he gets to sleep with me tonight :-)

Thanks, Harry, for your note :-) Appreciate it.

NQ (Simulated) Trade 9/29 - Done For The Day!





1 trade (highlighted in green on chart below)



Nearly 10 points in a matter of seconds - the power of the bailout saga (D reaped 5.75 points all in 40 seconds, the moment he was out of the shower, when he saw me going in. Difference is, his is REAL PROFIT!)

I'm done following the bailout drama.

Turning in early.

Visiting Alberto tmrw.

Monday, September 29, 2008

FX (Simulated) Trades 9/29 - Close All Positions

Closed EURJPY - Daily chart's making me feel uncomfortable:


EURJPY Daily


Closed AUDJPY shortly after that


Then GBPJPY as well


Daily charts for both AJ and GJ are ok (see charts below), but Alberto is not (throwing up, extremely quiet, extremely lethargic, not eating). Bringing him to the vet, and decided to close all positions in case I don't get back in time before US market opens (which tends to mess up my PnL).

AUDJPY Daily


GBPJPY Daily


Total: $4549.19

FX (Simulated) Trades 9/29 - New Short Entry

Opened new short position GBPJPY.


NOT closing previous 2 positions yet.

It's clear that I'm avoiding the USD.

Charts on USD crosses are just NOT pretty (hourly's ok, daily's ugly, and that's enough to make me avoid USD).

Fundamentally, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with USD FOR NOW.

FX (Simulated) Trades 9/29 - Update on 9/26's Trades

Trades from 9/26


PnL went into negative territory on 9/26 after US market open, but came back up today.

There's no reason to close position now since charts are looking ok.

On daily charts, both are showing a bear flag; on hourly charts, supports are a distance below.

Monitoring and will close if supports on hourly charts are seen to be able to hold price up.

AUDJPY Daily


AUDJPY Hourly


EURJPY Daily


EURJPY Hourly

Regarding My Simulated Trades on 9/26 - Comment and My Response


Regarding my posting on my Sep 26's simulated trades

gmargtrader asked: Where in the markets occur movement?

I'm not sure I understand the question, coz what's visible to me is that there were quite a few movements on NQ (on 5 min chart, that is. I look at the 5min after 930am EST. Before that, I look only at the 30min chart) on Sep 26.

I've highlighted the movements in green on my 5min chart (click on chart to see enlarged version):



Depending on the timeframe we're looking at, the market can be seen to be making directional or sideway movements.

On the 5 min chart above, NQ is visibly going sideways during the 10:00 to 12:00 period.

That said, if you're just scalping, you'll still be able to get something if you lower your profit target.

I'm going to talk a little about the sideway move from 1000 to 1230:

- As I mentioned above, if I choose to scalp even a sideway move (I'll play a ranging market if the range is not too narrow), I can still get something from this time frame (which I often do for ER2 before it was ICED).

- In the case of Sep 26, however, I wouldn't trade the downmove at 1000 coz I don't like to trade what looks like retracement to me (since NQ has been on an upward move until 1000, I will assume that its first move downwards is a retracement).

- I'll watch the retracement and see what happens next.

- If NQ were to continue to go up after the correction, I'll presume that the uptrend is still intact.

- What I'll do next is to look for the 1st resistance. If the closes resistance is the resistance that I've identified on my 30 min chart before market open, and is not far away from the current price, that will tell me that the upward move is probably going to be limited.

- If indeed NQ doesn't break out of this resistance, I'll assume that NQ will start trading in a range for a while, especially if it's around the 11am to 2pm window.

- I'll usually NOT scalp this range, unless I'm really desperate (like if I've had losing trades before that and I'm looking to offset those losses).

- During this period that it's ranging, I'll watch NQ's movement to see if it is gathering momentum to PLUNGE (refering specifically to Sep 26's movement only).

- If NQ has attempted to hit the highest reistance (Navy blue line on my chart) and fail to break up, i'll be more confident of trading down after 2pm.

- If NQ starts to make lower highs and lower lows during this ranging period, and has never once gone up to the highest resistance to test it, I'll be more cautious and maybe even hesitant to make a move after 2pm - because I'll be expecting NQ to make an attempt to test the highest resistance after that.

And that was exactly what happened with the trade I took at 2pm (shaded in blue - the 2nd blue rectangle).

- I got out at around 1661 although my initial target was 1656, because I wasn't sure that NQ was going to plunge, given that it's not tested 1668 (the highest resistance in navy blue line).

- Had NQ been less hesitant when it was coming down from 1663, I would have held on to my trade and wait for it to hit my profit target of 1656.

But because:

1) the move was not decidedly downwards,

2) the debate between the 2 parties going on (something I notice is that it really doesn't matter what the senators say, I was watching DOW as the 2 senators took turn to speak, and DOW has gone up and also down for each, and the contents of their speech has created no significant movement in DOW, which tells me that market sentiment takes precedence over real-time new info and data. That said, I still don't like to stay in a trade when key events like these are taking place)

3) NQ has not tested 1668 resistance

I closed my position at the point that's half of what I initially wanted to take.

Of course, as fate would have it (always!!), NQ indeed went down to 1656, where I had place my initial profit target.

Now, if you look at the 2 green rectangles that I've drawn (the ones that are separated by my blue rectangle), combine the 2, and you will see a big move downwards there.

At 3pm, a morning star (well, not exactly a morning star strictly speaking, which is just a name to me, it's the market psychology underpinning the pattern that I'm paying more attention to) formed (in grey circle).

Morning stars at swing lows are usually reliable in foretelling a significant move UP.

NQ indeed went on to hit a high higher than 1678 after that.

I want to talk a little about NEWS at this point:
The news that accompanied the move up were not particular bullish, in my opinion. Some would disagree, coz the indices were going up, and since there MUST BE A REASON that they were going up, it's gotta be news.

My take regarding NEWS:
- I've sat through sessions just staring at my charts and listening to news, and noticed that more often than not, the charts basically do what they want to do, totally ignoring news (and it was precisely after I've seen it with my own eyes that I finally was able to appreciate this wise saying: "the market is always right and always tells its own story best").

- What I see in the news and commentaries post-event, that made reference to a particular event and then associate it with the moves - they make me laugh at best.

- What move the market is GENERAL SENTIMENTS that could last anywhere from days to weeks to months, sometimes lasting maybe just hours (e.g when an ultra significant event overshadows all the rest before it).

Coming back to the upward move from 3pm on - that move from 1650 to 1684 - that would, in my opinion - especially with my position size - be a BIG MOVE.

So to sum up, for the session on Sep 26, you have (NOT taking into account the smaller moves during the 1000 to 1230 timeframe) 4 big upward moves and 3 downward moves

They are all highlighted in green in my chart above.

Now these are in hindsight of course.

In real-time,

- I wouldn't have taken the trade up (2nd green rectangle), because I would assume that it's a retracement (downward trend before that).

- By the time I realize it's not, it would have been too late (look at the size of that bullish candle).

- I wouldn't have taken the upward move that followed either, coz there were just too many resistances on its way up and I wouldn't know for sure when it will be stopped by one of them and turned back down.

- The long upper shadows are effective deterrents too.

- But most importantly, although I want to be bullish (and why shouldn't anyone, given that the entire government WANTS market to go up?), I simply can't be coz the patterns of the bullish candles suggest more short covering / profit taking than optimistic buying.

- And this is my personal rule: in a market filled with uncertainty and gloom, to make me go long, I'll have to see hammerS (yes, I'll need to see more than 1, coz I don't want to go through the wash and rinse cycle) at SWING lOWS. The upmove in the 2 said green rectangle were NOT supported by hammers. Hence, no play for me.

Although the 2 upward moves after 1230pm EST were supported by hammers and a morning star respectively, I didn't take anyone of them because:

- the first move up after 1230pm EST happened to be in the window that I don't open a new trade (11am- 1230pm). Too many bad experiences with and sob stories to tell about this trading timeframe!!

- the 2nd move happened after 3pm EST, after I've taken my 1400 over "profit", and time for me to pause and regroup. The morning star was very tempting of course, but I don't like to chase. I'm usually very high-strung when I'm in a trade - so once i close a position with profit, I usually need some time to cool down.

- On occasions where I've taken trades after 3pm - those were usually days when I hadn't hit my profit target for the day, or, days that I saw a pattern that I was familiar with - and these patterns are bearish (yes I'm a bear still, coz the market is apparently still bearish. Until the market decides that there's no harm being slightly LESS BEARISH since external intervention will surely IMPEDE further moves down, I'll continue to be VERY BEARISH ie. no longing)

Just want to talk a little about the trade I took before 930am EST.

- As shown in my chart, the blue rectangle (which shows the points I gained in the short entry) is about a quarter of the overall plunge down (Now, this is one hell of a move for me - for a 10 contract size, that's $5400 in profit).

- That would be what I call my DREAM profit target.

- Usually, I'll take profit at nearest support first, then continue to scalp it downwards until there're signs of exhaustion of prevailing trend.

On Sep 26, I hadn't entered again after my trade hit its target coz:

1) it was not real-money trade, my main focus was on observing what NQ does throughout the trading session esp during the first half hour of market open

2) my feeling about the market that day is that it's not decidedly bearish, so i'll have reservation about NQ's continual move down. I actually expected some short coverings first (ie. testing resistances - the pink, brown and green lines on my chart) before plunging.

As for the other moves that I could have taken down but did not, especially the ones from the top, I've explained in my posting on which gmargtrader's comment was made, why I hadn't taken them.

Long answer for a short (but not simple, coz I still am not sure if I got it) question.

My apologies if I confuse anyone.

But it's my journal, and as long as it doesn't confuse me, I'm happy :-D

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Why I Blog, Why I Trade

I blogged for the first time in my life in Jan this year.

I had done it for fun, mostly out of curiosity, after I saw Seabloke putting up her first entry on blogspot.

Before that, I didn't have the habit of reading anyone's blog.

Whenever I ventured into someone's blog, it was out of necessity - I was doing research for work assignments.

There was just something about blogs that put me off then - but that's not the topic for today.

So I blogged on and off for 3 months (think I had about 5 entries?) before I shut it down in March.

When my entire world was falling apart, blogging was the last thing on my mind, and my thoughts were the last thing I want to leave open for strangers to read in cyberspace.

I suspected my world actually started to really fall apart sometime in May 2006, after years of insisting that I have no baggage of any sort.

I was in the 6th year of my service, and just promoted to the equivalent of a deputy superintendent.

And it had to be then that it started to dawn on me that I no longer want to continue to write speeches for the Commissioner (not that I didn't like him, I adore the quiet and learned man), to organize events graced by the gods, to screen innovative projects that I played a part in forcing our ground officers - who were already juggling crazy schedules - to undertake in the first place, to draft policy papers, to sit in strategic dialogue sessions - with supposedly the most brilliant of the country's minds - where such topics as scenario planning, as the leveraging of our learning organization culture and principles to engage officers in shared visioning exercises, as the importance of service excellence and its relevance in strengthening our partnership with the public, etc etc were deliberated.

I was brain-dead and needed something to jolt me back to life. I needed out of the headquarters.

I am not programmed to live a life of daily subordination to ideologies, to management and organizational visions and objectives, to the very big picture of making our country a place that will continue to entice the world's richest and most powerful to come and build their corporate empires.

Imagine my joy when my request to be posted to the CID was finally approved and I was granted an interview.

During the interview, I was told by one of the rare few I truly admire in the force, that my work would require me to be extremely versatile.

While my main role was to network with our global counterparts (the glamorous side), there would be occasions where I would find myself crawling on the floor looking for things I'd need for analysis, from among rubble and human flesh (the not-so-glamorous side).

I was asked if I owned any jeans, and that I'll have to keep a pair in my locker.

I had no idea how I convinced the man - the hunger in my eyes probably didn't escape his - I was chosen, despite my lack of experience in the front line (the most "frontal" I got was when I was assigned in a previous posting to deal with media-related matters).

That was less than a year after the London bombing, and a year that saw multiple suicide bombing incidents in the region.

I was never deployed, probably coz I was too new.

But I loved what I was assigned to do.

I loved my job so much I persuaded my superior at the headquarters to allow me to start work there while continuing to serve the headquarters until they managed to find my replacement.

So I ran between 2 departments for a while.

I was finally called back to the headquarters in early 2007 when they failed to find someone in time for a major exercise.

As I was never formally released to CID, I was totally obliged to return to the headquarters.

My only consolation was that it was not a bad place to work in in the first place. My superior was a dear, and I had actually missed him while I was spending the whole pre-christmas period at CID.

A month later, in Feb 2007, D's father - who was in Hong Kong -had a massive heart attack that nearly killed him, and D had to run between 2 countries to take care of him. The rest of D's family has been living in the US for decades, and there was just no one else....

To cut a long story short, we began to talk about our future, where we were heading, where our home is, for the first time.

D's home is not here.

As for me, I don't know where mine is.

I haven't any roots.

I grew up in 3 different countries and where I'm living right now is the one that I shouldn't have come back to in the first place.

After all, it was the last place my father had wanted me to be found.

When I was sent away at 16, all alone, I was sent away in secrecy. The only people who knew I was in Canada was my immediate family. Everyone else was told I had returned to the place that I was born - Kedah.

I was not given a reason as to why I had to flee, and really, I didn't care, coz I was just happy beyond description to be released.

After 16 years, I was a caged beast about to explode.

I returned for my Dad's wake when he died mysteriously 5 years after I left home.

It looked like he had hung himself.

But there were just too many things that didn't fit, so many questions left unanswered, that it was perhaps sheer exhaustion and denial that made us accept what seemed - on the surface - to be the logical conclusion to the cause of his death.

Our lives - Seabloke's, Pilot's and mine - were just one episode of drama after another when we were growing up. The family has so many secrets that we grew up totally embracing conspiracy theories.

Anyway, I returned to Canada immediately after my Dad's funeral, and didn't come home until after another 5 years had passed.

When I came home, it was season 2 of the family drama.

Granny came to my rescue, and bought me a place to live on my own.

The rest's history.

I didn't realize that I had come back home to search for answers - answers that I never got anywhere near to finding out.

8 years on, I started to wonder if there's actually life after Dad, and if I ever thought about who I really was, besides being his daughter.

I was desperately lost, totally beat, and looking for rest and a place I could call home.

I decided I had to leave the service to start getting experience in the private sector so that I can move whenever D is ready to.

I was fortunate to have found a good position in an offshore bank. But it was a case of a clash between the bank's need to protect shareholder interest and my value system that made me decide to leave.

I was REALLY REALLY lost after that.

That's a gross understatement in fact.

I had no idea what I was to do with my life - my only goal had always been to make my Dad proud.

I spent the first part of the 15 years after he was gone in denial that he was gone, and the 2nd part looking for answers, so I hadn't really the chance to grief, and to appreciate the reality that I, like everyone else, am an individual who's supposed to have my own dreams, hopes and passions regardless of what happen to even the closest person around me.

I must be the most stubborn person I know. I am so independent in my thinking that absolutely no one could get any sense into me.

I was enraged, confused, evil, and so cold and intimidating that D was forced to take on a persona that could exist in harmony with mine.

I could get so violent that I would hit him with a chair when I felt threatened and attacked.

It was when I started blogging again in May 08 that things began turning around.

About 2 months ago, a troubled D asked me if there was something that he should know, and if I was alright.

I asked what made him ask that.

He said I haven't screamed in 2 months, or gotten mad with him over ANYTHING. It had been impossible to piss me off.

For the first time in the 15 years that we were together, he could finally say things without feeling like he's walking across a field loaded with landmines.

I think what happened was that I finally found myself an audience, and D outlived his usefulness as a sandbag.

LOL

Blogging gives me a voice.

And it really doesn't matter if no one's listening.

I have done my part in letting things out, in giving myself the permission to feel bad, to vent my frustrations in a way that doesn't cause people I love distress or endanger the lives of others.

And it was in writing that I found the peace and solitude I had so desperately needed to find myself.

It was when I started writing frantically that I began to hear the voice inside me that told me what my passions were, and how I could use them to build a brand new life that perhaps I might just be able to love living.

It was then that I logged onto IB for the first time - Jun 08 - and traded with the account that has been sitting there waiting for me the whole time.

D was trading it on and off, with whatever knowledge he picked up sporadically about INVESTING (NOT trading).

It got to a point that he had to force me into doing something about the money that's idling in IB. We already had the bulk of our savings idling somewhere else. We have no mortgage - we own our home; we live within our means (D does have some indulgences - Armanis and Trussadis and such - but he's since cut down :-D), and have zero credit card debts.

It hit me that I had everything working for me to start LIVING.

So I did.

Now back to the question of why I'm paper trading.

I am paper trading now because NQ is new to me, and Oanda (for FX) is new to me.

It's not prudent to put money on the line when I know next to nothing about the instrument I'm trading and the platform I'm using.

That's me. I tend to tread carefully - maybe too carefully sometimes.

But once I know what I'm dealing with, I would strike without hesitation.

And back to the part on my being sent away - I still haven't the slightest inking from what, or whom, I was supposed to run away.

My only encounter before I left the country had been with a young man who came to the estate where I was living (with security and everything, I had no idea how he got in), who pointed a revolver at me in the billiard room (I can still remember vividly the feeling of the cold metal pressed against my forehead).

I stared into his eyes without blinking, just wanting to figure out who he was.

He stared back without a word.

What seemed like minutes later, he turned and walked out of the room.

It took me probably minutes to regain my composure, and I went after him.

He was nowhere to be found.

I ran to the guardhouse. Everyone on duty searched the estate for the mysterious man. But he vanished. Just totally gone.

I have no recollection of what happened after that. I was told a story that was simply unbelievably absurd - that the chap, who was barely 17, had found his uncle's gun and taken it out with him for the day without his knowledge, just for fun!

Shortly after the incident, I was asked to choose between Australia and Canada, where I'd be sent to to continue my education.

I picked Canada. Dad found a high school there, and made all the necessary arrangements to put me on a flight out of the country, all within 2 weeks.

I flew first to Hong Kong, stayed and wondered around all by myself for 3 days before catching a flight to Vancouver.

5 days after I left home, I arrived at Edmonton in the middle of the night, unprepared for the crazy -30 Degree Celsius temperature, but totally dazzled by the quietness of the city, and the pure white snow that lighted up long stretches of streets.

To whoever / whatever out there that has anything to do with my being sent away, know that it has all been GOOD for me, coz I sure had had a lot of fun (again, topic for another day) the nearly 10 years I was away.

And from this moment on, I am going to start having fun the way I did when I was an unknowing 16-year-old cruising through life in a foreign land, learning for the first time how to cook, do my own laundry, open a bank account, book my own dental appointment, jay walk, and DRIVE A CAR.

The market shall be my new playground.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

NQ (Simulated) Trades 9/26




Done for the day, and am happy with what I've done.

The last trade was what I have been waiting for for 4 hours.

Yes, I was waiting for the plunge.

My initial target was 1656, but decided to get out at 1661.75 after waiting in vain for the decided move down.

Today's simply not the kind of day that I want to sit and wait for the market to break below support, not after it's tested it 3 times, and looks like it could reverse back up on a single piece of bullish news.

I took a decent profit that's half of what I had initially wanted, knowing that it's foolish to expect the market to grant me what I WANT while I sit looking at a chart that's telling me it's time to run.

As I'm writing this, NQ has rallied over 11 point.

Had it not rallied, and plunged instead, giving me my targeted profit, it would have had been sheer luck for me. I wouldn't have earned my profit as a result of objective judgement and strategic planning.

And had I not run with my profit, I would have suffered a loss of $2000.

I'm glad I settled for $400 plus.

D has asked me on many occasions why I don't ever pick the top ( in this case, at around 1675 (refer to chart below) and trade down from there.

I don't because I won't know where the top is when NQ is trending, and when there are a number of major resistances above it that it will attempt to hit.

I have made it a point to only go short when I've actually seen the top and that NQ is confirmed to have reversed and not just doing a minor correction.

Which is why I need to wait for my after 2pm window.

Friday, September 26, 2008

NQ (Simulated) Trade 9/26 - NQ Is A Darling!




I love NQ, I LOVE NQ!!!!!

It's ER2's twin!!

Entered and exited in the timeframe highlighted in green in chart below, after watching NQ for hours (since 3am EST). Profit target was set at 1650, a support from the day before.

10 contracts is right for me - it allows me to set stop loss 2 points away, and puts me in the right frame of mind (ie. not overstaying in a trade in a bid to get more points - I have a target that I want to hit, that I MUST hit, by hook or by crook...). That's less than 1% of what I've set aside for futures trading only (according to D, it would be the amount that I might possibly kiss goodbye while I'm learning to trade).

NQ has gone down another 15 points since I closed my position. Plunge ahead.

FX (Simulated) Trades 9/26

For now....

(Click to enlarge)

Will hold til my charts tell me to get out.





D asked last night why I'm still paper trading. I said I am testing out Oanda.

D asked what's wrong with using IB account to trade FX. I said there's just something that really annoys me about IB's FX trading platform.

Then D said he'll fund the Oanda account and asked how much I think I'd need.

I blurted out a figure.

D said he will put in 3 times that amount (in his usual ultra cool tone).

And how did I choose to respond to such sweet gesture?

"So you think I'm going to totally lose the amount I think I need..??!!"

Totally validating my gender identity.