Love.
A verb. A noun. A concept
As a verb and noun, it's nonplussing; as a concept, it's simply crap.
All I know for certain about love as a concept is that it sells - everyone at one point in his/her life buys it.
A friend sent me a beautiful real-life love story about a couple in China who were forced to live in the mountains because their union was not accepted by their community. When they first met, the man was 19, and the woman was 29 and widowed. 50 years on, the man died, leaving behind his love, and the stone steps up the mountains that he had spent decades hand-carving for her. For the 50 years that they were together, they've never been apart, not even for a day. Many were so moved by the story they visited the cave that this couple had spent almost their entire life in.
It's difficult for me to overlook the one point that stands out so sorely in the story that explains why they stuck with each other: they were, literally, STUCK WITH EACH OTHER.
But before I go into that, the other thing that baffles me are the 6000 stairs that the man had painstakingly built for his love, who had never needed them in the first place - she never came down the mountains.
What I know is that it definitely is a
demonstration of love. Whether it's done out of love, I know that I'll never find out.
I got to thinking about this: when it comes to love, is it a must to act?
Can we just love, and not take any action until such time that it's needed?
I know that I love someone when I respond immediately to the person's call for help. If I can drop everything without hesitation to attend to someone, I know that I must love this person.
Coming back to the story of the couple.
I told D that circumstance was what had been bounding them together. They were technically on the run - in the eyes of their society at least, their being together was more than a taboo.
So here we have a man and a woman, confined to their cave, and have only each other for company...
Had the same couple been placed in our society - let's say, the woman to work for a certain MNC, and the man to work for another...
How would that change their story?
Would their live still be simple and uneventful?
Would their bonding still be as strong?
Would the man not cast a lustful glance at his attractive female colleagues? Would the lady not fall for the suave executives in her department?
Would they not start sharing dreams and hopes and secrets with other people rather than with each other?
Would they not be tempted at some point to ponder on whether they've gotten the best deal? Would they not start to feel like they deserve someone better, someone who actually understands and cares for them, someone who doesn't pick on everything that they do and say and think?
Simply put, when not isolated, or more aptly,
insulated, from the real world, would they still
be able to love each other forever?
I have never wanted to believe that love is something you FALL INTO. To say that you've fallen in love is to say you've no idea what you've done. That effectively remove the word "responsibility" and "commitment" from the picture.
To me, love is something you have to consciously and willingly, and perhaps even rationally, give to a candidate of your own choice. And once you've taken your pick, you stick with him through thick and thin, and you go wherever he goes. If you ever have to live apart because of work, and if ambition gets in the way, then do whatever it takes to remind yourself who the priority in your life is. Not what, but WHO.
Because love is not an ideology.
Love is a living human being.
If you can't commit, DON'T ever love.
"
The journey to Truth and Light must first cross the ocean within." Something that Ai Mei sent me days ago that has kept me dwelling on what"crossing the ocean within" means.
It's beginning to dawn on me that it means fighting the devil within me.
To love someone, a vow to stick around is not enough. On top of that, you have to stop expecting.
That, I suppose, is what love is about ie. to be with someone without expecting to get anything - happiness, in particular - back in return.
If you really love someone, you'll find happiness within, no matter what.
Anyway, it's quite impossible to know you're miserable when your focus is directed away from yourself.
:-D