D's mum is in town!
Absolutely wonderful lady.
I like her!!
Seabloke, you're going to be so jealous. She gave me a pearl ring with diamonds all around, and the pearl is twice the size of the one that Granny used to wear!!
Hur Hur Hur!!!!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
NQ Trades 10/30
(Click on images to enlarge)
I'm seriously questioning the logics of using charts for scalping.
For the past 3 sessions, I had stolen quick glances at my 30min and 5min charts.
Today, I didn't even open my chart. I knew roughly where NQ was, coz I was looking at its 30min chart an hour before market opened. But that was it.
Was using only BookTrader once market opened, as I did for the past few sessions.
D's fascinated. I said I'll teach him how to read it.
It's really straining on the eyes and the brain though. And I could do it for max of 1 hour. Once I lose focus, I just lose it. Respond a second too late, and I lose my good entry.
Will reduce my contract size from 2 to 1 tmrw.
Why?
Coz D's back tmrw.
And I expect to be distracted.
It's impossible to ignore D, or ask him to shut up, when he's all excited and wants to talk about his trades.
A talkative D is much cherished.
I'm seriously questioning the logics of using charts for scalping.
For the past 3 sessions, I had stolen quick glances at my 30min and 5min charts.
Today, I didn't even open my chart. I knew roughly where NQ was, coz I was looking at its 30min chart an hour before market opened. But that was it.
Was using only BookTrader once market opened, as I did for the past few sessions.
D's fascinated. I said I'll teach him how to read it.
It's really straining on the eyes and the brain though. And I could do it for max of 1 hour. Once I lose focus, I just lose it. Respond a second too late, and I lose my good entry.
Will reduce my contract size from 2 to 1 tmrw.
Why?
Coz D's back tmrw.
And I expect to be distracted.
It's impossible to ignore D, or ask him to shut up, when he's all excited and wants to talk about his trades.
A talkative D is much cherished.
Great Regret
On the day that Granny was cremated, we were supposed to pick her bones from her ashes as part of the Buddhist (Chinese?) burial custom. What disturbs me about the process is the using of chopsticks to do that. I've done it twice, and vowed never to do it again.
I haven't an inkling if it's a Buddhist ritual, or merely a Chinese custom. Whatever it is, I find it insensitive, twisted and abysmally crude!
As Chinese, we eat with chopsticks.
I use chopsticks to pick up chicken bones.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I was handed a pair of chopsticks to pick up the bones of my Dad 16 years ago.
So 2 Saturdays ago, after Granny's body was cremated - at the same temple where Dad was cremated - we were told to return in 2 hours for the bone-picking ritual.
We left in our own cars - Seabloke left with her family, my aunt (Dad's only sibling, and Granny's only other child) left with hers, and I left with D.
1 hour before the ceremony was to begin, I told Seabloke I wasn't going to do it. If the ritual was part of a "package" that they had opted for, they could go ahead without me.
I went home. It was 11:30am and I hadn't slept for 2 days.
D went to take a shower.
I sat right in front of my computer, which I hadn't quite had a chance to touch for almost a week. This is the place that I sit for almost 20 hours a day, almost everyday including weekends.
Since we moved in on April 25 this year, and since D took his trip - which was certainly an unforgettable one for me - on April 26, I've found solace just sitting here watching my charts.
I visited no friends, and allowed no one to visit (except Seabloke), and the only people I see are delivery men.
I did not call anyone, and avoided almost all the calls that came in.
Granny was not given the full detail of what was going on in my life, although she did get bits and pieces of information from Seabloke.
Granny called me heartless on so many occasions.
But the more she wanted to see me, and have me visit, or at least call her, the more I avoided her.
She was just constantly at the back of my mind and I found it a dread, and a burden, to have to think of her while I am attempting to make a shot at trading.
On the days that I did call her, I would feel totally relieved - it felt almost as if I had accomplished a mission.
But on that Saturday that I sat in front of my computer, all ready to log on, tears just gushed out.
I didn't feel the relief that I thought I would feel.
When I could finally ignore the entire world and just do my work, I couldn't.
I forgot my passwords. I couldn't concentrate.
Granny was everywhere.
The colors of my home reminded me of all the colors she hated.
The red and yellow blouses that I set aside only to be worn when I visit her make me tear - what do I do with them now?
I remember the last time I had a squabble with Seabloke, I ran crying to Granny, and she told Seabloke to stop bullying her sister.
I'll have no one to cry to now.
For the first time in my life, I felt lonely.
When D came out from his shower, I was a mess.
I couldn't stop crying, and I hated myself for not wanting to take part in the ritual.
It was exactly 12pm and the ceremony had begun.
I called Seabloke, and she told me to get there anyway.
D was speeding throughout the journey, and I was tearing non-stop.
I was half an hour late, and didn't get to put Granny's ashes into her urn.
I burst out in tears.
I am in tears as I write this.
I cannot describe the sense of loss I feel.
My loving, doting, domineering, but overwhelmingly caring Granny; my wise, witty and charming Granny - gone, forever.
What am I supposed to feel?
I asked Seabloke when I will get over this. She said we never will - just like we've never gotten over Dad. We will miss Granny's dishes and her naggings. It wasn't so bad when Grandpa passed on, coz we knew we still had Granny. Now....no more....
I asked Seabloke why I felt so terrible, and she said:
Big,
I've been telling you to meet friends, visit people who matter, regardless of your mood or how you don't like to make talks. You are a strong advocate of doing what's right, and keeping in touch IS right. That way, you know when the person leaves, you have no such regrets. I still love you.
Regret. Something that's plagued the most part of my life.
I don't know when the day will come when I will finally treat people right.
I'm terrified of intimacy.
I don't have a clue as to how I can spend hours looking at, talking to, and massaging Alberto, a cat, and can't spend an hour with people.
And it got me thinking - is that the reason why I've been able to live with D all these years?
Coz he can be so distant he seems almost like a stranger.
And I have no problem living with a stranger.
I have to do something about me.
If I don't, I'm going to die sorry and lonely.
I haven't an inkling if it's a Buddhist ritual, or merely a Chinese custom. Whatever it is, I find it insensitive, twisted and abysmally crude!
As Chinese, we eat with chopsticks.
I use chopsticks to pick up chicken bones.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I was handed a pair of chopsticks to pick up the bones of my Dad 16 years ago.
So 2 Saturdays ago, after Granny's body was cremated - at the same temple where Dad was cremated - we were told to return in 2 hours for the bone-picking ritual.
We left in our own cars - Seabloke left with her family, my aunt (Dad's only sibling, and Granny's only other child) left with hers, and I left with D.
1 hour before the ceremony was to begin, I told Seabloke I wasn't going to do it. If the ritual was part of a "package" that they had opted for, they could go ahead without me.
I went home. It was 11:30am and I hadn't slept for 2 days.
D went to take a shower.
I sat right in front of my computer, which I hadn't quite had a chance to touch for almost a week. This is the place that I sit for almost 20 hours a day, almost everyday including weekends.
Since we moved in on April 25 this year, and since D took his trip - which was certainly an unforgettable one for me - on April 26, I've found solace just sitting here watching my charts.
I visited no friends, and allowed no one to visit (except Seabloke), and the only people I see are delivery men.
I did not call anyone, and avoided almost all the calls that came in.
Granny was not given the full detail of what was going on in my life, although she did get bits and pieces of information from Seabloke.
Granny called me heartless on so many occasions.
But the more she wanted to see me, and have me visit, or at least call her, the more I avoided her.
She was just constantly at the back of my mind and I found it a dread, and a burden, to have to think of her while I am attempting to make a shot at trading.
On the days that I did call her, I would feel totally relieved - it felt almost as if I had accomplished a mission.
But on that Saturday that I sat in front of my computer, all ready to log on, tears just gushed out.
I didn't feel the relief that I thought I would feel.
When I could finally ignore the entire world and just do my work, I couldn't.
I forgot my passwords. I couldn't concentrate.
Granny was everywhere.
The colors of my home reminded me of all the colors she hated.
The red and yellow blouses that I set aside only to be worn when I visit her make me tear - what do I do with them now?
I remember the last time I had a squabble with Seabloke, I ran crying to Granny, and she told Seabloke to stop bullying her sister.
I'll have no one to cry to now.
For the first time in my life, I felt lonely.
When D came out from his shower, I was a mess.
I couldn't stop crying, and I hated myself for not wanting to take part in the ritual.
It was exactly 12pm and the ceremony had begun.
I called Seabloke, and she told me to get there anyway.
D was speeding throughout the journey, and I was tearing non-stop.
I was half an hour late, and didn't get to put Granny's ashes into her urn.
I burst out in tears.
I am in tears as I write this.
I cannot describe the sense of loss I feel.
My loving, doting, domineering, but overwhelmingly caring Granny; my wise, witty and charming Granny - gone, forever.
What am I supposed to feel?
I asked Seabloke when I will get over this. She said we never will - just like we've never gotten over Dad. We will miss Granny's dishes and her naggings. It wasn't so bad when Grandpa passed on, coz we knew we still had Granny. Now....no more....
I asked Seabloke why I felt so terrible, and she said:
Big,
I've been telling you to meet friends, visit people who matter, regardless of your mood or how you don't like to make talks. You are a strong advocate of doing what's right, and keeping in touch IS right. That way, you know when the person leaves, you have no such regrets. I still love you.
Regret. Something that's plagued the most part of my life.
I don't know when the day will come when I will finally treat people right.
I'm terrified of intimacy.
I don't have a clue as to how I can spend hours looking at, talking to, and massaging Alberto, a cat, and can't spend an hour with people.
And it got me thinking - is that the reason why I've been able to live with D all these years?
Coz he can be so distant he seems almost like a stranger.
And I have no problem living with a stranger.
I have to do something about me.
If I don't, I'm going to die sorry and lonely.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Definitely Lonesome Tonight
I've logged out from IB and closed my charts.
The market's boring me to death.
Home's terribly quiet.
Al and Keisha are restless... Missing D, I guess.
Am feeling a tad out of sorts - haven't even the mood to go out for a smoke.
Seabloke's making some serious attempts to get me out of the house in the morning.
She just doesn't like me fair!
LOL!!
I blame this for my bad mood:
Light Of My Life
Lara Fabian
Wandering like a leaf upon the wind
I have been searching for someone
Holding out for a love to shake my soul
Heaven or nothing
Then you walked into my life
In a blaze of light
I've never wanted someone more
You are the one I've waited for
Light of my life
You are the fire in my heart
When I am lost
I know I'll feel you burning in the dark
You're the light of my life
Every star in the sky
Shines more brightly when you're at my side
You're the light of my life
Dreaming, I feel you next to me
No, I'm not, I'm not dreaming
'Cause I'm drowning in your kiss
I die in your arms
And when I hear you call my name
Baby, it's like I'm born again
Your love's a lantern in the rain
Bringing me home time and again
Burning like an eternal flame
Light of my life
You're the beat of my heart
When I am lost
When you're lost I know
You'll see me shining
Shining in the dark
You're the light of my life
Like the stars in the sky
Only you can take me through
You're the only one who makes it right
Only you set fire to the night
You're the light of my life
The market's boring me to death.
Home's terribly quiet.
Al and Keisha are restless... Missing D, I guess.
Am feeling a tad out of sorts - haven't even the mood to go out for a smoke.
Seabloke's making some serious attempts to get me out of the house in the morning.
She just doesn't like me fair!
LOL!!
I blame this for my bad mood:
Light Of My Life
Lara Fabian
Wandering like a leaf upon the wind
I have been searching for someone
Holding out for a love to shake my soul
Heaven or nothing
Then you walked into my life
In a blaze of light
I've never wanted someone more
You are the one I've waited for
Light of my life
You are the fire in my heart
When I am lost
I know I'll feel you burning in the dark
You're the light of my life
Every star in the sky
Shines more brightly when you're at my side
You're the light of my life
Dreaming, I feel you next to me
No, I'm not, I'm not dreaming
'Cause I'm drowning in your kiss
I die in your arms
And when I hear you call my name
Baby, it's like I'm born again
Your love's a lantern in the rain
Bringing me home time and again
Burning like an eternal flame
Light of my life
You're the beat of my heart
When I am lost
When you're lost I know
You'll see me shining
Shining in the dark
You're the light of my life
Like the stars in the sky
Only you can take me through
You're the only one who makes it right
Only you set fire to the night
You're the light of my life
Not Trading The NQ Today
Volume's going to be low before 2pm EST, and I'm still NOT done feeling sad about not having a deeper pocket to sit through my forex retracement!
Even if there's going to be a rally in anticipation of or after the announcement on interest rate cut, I don't believe it will be sustainable.
If anything, market will only PLUNGE after that.
So maybe no rally is better than a rally that gives false hope.
I'm buying the USD again once I see an established trend.
And definitely no more holding and sitting for me until I have grown my account to a level that allows me to swing trade!
Oh, I really want to, and absolutely have to say this : SCREW FOMC!
Even if there's going to be a rally in anticipation of or after the announcement on interest rate cut, I don't believe it will be sustainable.
If anything, market will only PLUNGE after that.
So maybe no rally is better than a rally that gives false hope.
I'm buying the USD again once I see an established trend.
And definitely no more holding and sitting for me until I have grown my account to a level that allows me to swing trade!
Oh, I really want to, and absolutely have to say this : SCREW FOMC!
FX Trades 10/28 - Close All Losing Positions
- Charts are telling me that market's likely to continue to rally today, ie. USD's not going to continue to be perceived as the only safe haven.
- FOMC - Too much talk about the very high chance that they will reduce interest rate. That's too much risk I'm going to have to take, although I've already cut some losses earlier in the day. I want the bulk of my money intact.
I can't bear to talk about my loss in absolute dollar amount NOW (not that it's huge - D expected me to lose everything in the micro account...er...in days... I suppose - I JUST DON'T LIKE LOSING!!!).
When I open a new position, my balance will be posted.
Getting myself ready for US market open.
NQ Time!
D, D, D!!!!!
Received this text from Seabloke as I was driving home after seeing D off at the airport last Saturday: (D) left? Big ok?
"After all that's happened, nothings not ok anymore" was my reply.
Today's the 5th day that D's been away.
So far, so good.
This is by far the easiest trip that D's made in the 15 years that we've been together - no drama at the airport, no emotional blackmail on my part, no tears, no concern whatsoever over who he's going to be seeing or staying over with.
I must have died on April 26 2008, when he boarded the flight to HK to meet her. I think I died on the way to the airport.
Well, maybe just half dead.
Coz I definitely felt the worst pain in my life in the 2 days that he spent with her while he was there.
Then maybe after that, I died.
No, not quite.
Coz in the 3 months that followed, I continued to LIVE in hell, as secrets that were kept from me began to surface (ok, they didn't surface, I went digging).
My biggest problem is my high threshold for pain. My dentist loves me, my doctors love me, and my beautician (who makes the bravest man tear when she pokes her needle into their zits and drags her sterilized little tools across their faces to extract and collect whatever's inside, then applies antiseptic immediately after that burns their fresh wound) absolutely loves me.
I never made a sound on the dentist's chair, never screamed or curse at anyone when I was in labor at 19, teased my doctor who treated me for second-degree burns coz he looked so shocked to see skin just folding down and falling off me as I walked (no, I didn't call an ambulance) into his clinic, drove 30km home after having a nasty fall while skating alone, with blood flowing freely from exactly where I got burnt years ago, and the only thought on my mind was: "there goes my car! Shit!!!".
I haven't found my match when it comes to putting up with emotional pain.
After losing 3 children, and then followed by 2 pillars of my life, without really feeling anything after I had had a few days to process and digest the new data , I suspect that I'm born with stunted pain receptors.
Then strangely in April this year, my heart ached for the first time. Apart from what D said, what he did killed my heart almost right after it found its beats.
Just a week ago, which was 2 days before he flew, a sleepless D attempted to get me to hug him to sleep. I didn't respond coz I was on medication (something that I take every night to give me 4 hours of very deep sleep). D hadn't really been told of the effect of the medication in the years that I've been taking them, and he never really got to find out coz he 's the fortunate kind that can fall asleep the moment he shuts his eyes.
Anyway, he was really upset, albeit only briefly.
I was confused.
What does D really want?
He doesn't like the burden of being loved, so I stop loving.
He said he doesn't love me anymore, so I don't want to love him either.
But we are each other's greatest pal (so I thought), and I love his jokes, so I don't see why we can't live happily together.
If there ever is a reason that we can't, it would be this: something that starts with the letter "W".
For as long as I live, I will bear in mind that I can't love D.
Not when "W" is alive and kicking!!!
I'm just happy that D's happy in HK, and calls me everyday to chat about his shopping experiences.
Life's just too short for thinking.
I want to do more LIVING.
"After all that's happened, nothings not ok anymore" was my reply.
Today's the 5th day that D's been away.
So far, so good.
This is by far the easiest trip that D's made in the 15 years that we've been together - no drama at the airport, no emotional blackmail on my part, no tears, no concern whatsoever over who he's going to be seeing or staying over with.
I must have died on April 26 2008, when he boarded the flight to HK to meet her. I think I died on the way to the airport.
Well, maybe just half dead.
Coz I definitely felt the worst pain in my life in the 2 days that he spent with her while he was there.
Then maybe after that, I died.
No, not quite.
Coz in the 3 months that followed, I continued to LIVE in hell, as secrets that were kept from me began to surface (ok, they didn't surface, I went digging).
My biggest problem is my high threshold for pain. My dentist loves me, my doctors love me, and my beautician (who makes the bravest man tear when she pokes her needle into their zits and drags her sterilized little tools across their faces to extract and collect whatever's inside, then applies antiseptic immediately after that burns their fresh wound) absolutely loves me.
I never made a sound on the dentist's chair, never screamed or curse at anyone when I was in labor at 19, teased my doctor who treated me for second-degree burns coz he looked so shocked to see skin just folding down and falling off me as I walked (no, I didn't call an ambulance) into his clinic, drove 30km home after having a nasty fall while skating alone, with blood flowing freely from exactly where I got burnt years ago, and the only thought on my mind was: "there goes my car! Shit!!!".
I haven't found my match when it comes to putting up with emotional pain.
After losing 3 children, and then followed by 2 pillars of my life, without really feeling anything after I had had a few days to process and digest the new data , I suspect that I'm born with stunted pain receptors.
Then strangely in April this year, my heart ached for the first time. Apart from what D said, what he did killed my heart almost right after it found its beats.
Just a week ago, which was 2 days before he flew, a sleepless D attempted to get me to hug him to sleep. I didn't respond coz I was on medication (something that I take every night to give me 4 hours of very deep sleep). D hadn't really been told of the effect of the medication in the years that I've been taking them, and he never really got to find out coz he 's the fortunate kind that can fall asleep the moment he shuts his eyes.
Anyway, he was really upset, albeit only briefly.
I was confused.
What does D really want?
He doesn't like the burden of being loved, so I stop loving.
He said he doesn't love me anymore, so I don't want to love him either.
But we are each other's greatest pal (so I thought), and I love his jokes, so I don't see why we can't live happily together.
If there ever is a reason that we can't, it would be this: something that starts with the letter "W".
For as long as I live, I will bear in mind that I can't love D.
Not when "W" is alive and kicking!!!
I'm just happy that D's happy in HK, and calls me everyday to chat about his shopping experiences.
Life's just too short for thinking.
I want to do more LIVING.
FX Trades 10/28 - Update
This is what my positions from yesterday look like now:
Ugly.
Monstrous.
Gruesome!
Holding.
Well, maybe just half of it.
Ugly.
Monstrous.
Gruesome!
Holding.
Well, maybe just half of it.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
NQ Trades 10/28
So much for today.
D time!!!
In fact I'm talking to him as I type and feeling a little guilty....
FX Trades 10/28
New positions opened today:
This is how it looks now...
*$*%@*$&**
Well, at least it's looking better than 3 hours ago.
This is how it looks now...
*$*%@*$&**
Well, at least it's looking better than 3 hours ago.
NQ Trade 10/28
One daytrade:
15.25 Points x 2
Entry based on signal from 30min chart (click to enlarge):
15.25 Points x 2
Entry based on signal from 30min chart (click to enlarge):
Monday, October 27, 2008
NQ Trades 10/27 & D (3rd Day In HK)
28.75 Points x 2
Basically just chasing prices on IB's Book Trader.
The benefit of using BT instead of staring at charts is that I have no selling bias.
I got so occupied with what's happening on BT I totally lost track of whether I'm bearish or bullish.
And maybe that's not such a bad thing!
Not tracking PnL. Will let D do that when he gets home.
D is the sweetest.
He actually went in search of my favorite Sergio Rossi shoes yesterday when he was out shopping with his mum. I used to wear only SR until the brand began to disappear from the shop at Hilton Hotel and from On Peddler at Takashimaya. Then he went to check out suede boots, my absolute favorite! He didn't forget those long black halter neck dresses that I love so much. I saw one at Celine once and he remembered. He saw something similar and called to tell me about it.
I haven't the slightest intention to replenish my wardrobe right now, and D knows that of course. But it's such a pleasant surprise that he remembers all my favorite things.
And the best part is, he's gotten my favorite brand of pineapple tarts (not sold here) - 2 boxes with 8 tins that are going to take up a quarter of his luggage!
D is THE BEST!!!!
I'm definitely looking forward to Friday. I miss those tarts!!!
I haven't the slightest intention to replenish my wardrobe right now, and D knows that of course. But it's such a pleasant surprise that he remembers all my favorite things.
And the best part is, he's gotten my favorite brand of pineapple tarts (not sold here) - 2 boxes with 8 tins that are going to take up a quarter of his luggage!
D is THE BEST!!!!
I'm definitely looking forward to Friday. I miss those tarts!!!
About "United States Is Among The Best Performers. Don’t You Feel Better Now?"
I don't usually attack journalists, column writers, newscasters, and other bloggers, but this one really pissed me off:
Floyd Norris.
Or maybe just his article.
His attempt to paint a rosy picture of the current market crisis is distasteful, to say the least.
The one line in his seemingly well-researched and impartial entry (which really is just a piece of hypocritical BS) that really presses my buttons is this :
Sure knows how to rub it in!
I love my country, although I really can't stand the weather, and the generally cowardly, selfish people that populate this island. Hence it pains me to see well-educated young men and women joining the unknowing elderly and the less investment-savvy in the suing of what has generally been accepted as our national bank, after it sold them structural Lehman Brother mini bonds that of course have become worthless today.
It's not news that banks do cross-selling and up-selling of products, and most are aware of the risk involved in putting their money into instruments that promise the POTENTIAL of giving you something that's more attractive than the miserable interest offered by fixed deposit accounts.
Relationship managers and other banking personnels have been blamed for unethical selling. Based on my observation, with the exception of a few, most are just doing their job.
I have seen blogs suggesting that their commissions be recalled, and I think that's just atrocious.
The reason that RMs are getting a commission is because they are doing jobs that many people won't do - including me.
Seriously, I'll rather do lowly manual work than to have to SELL, or get out of bed at an ungodly 3am to get my private banker boss' biggest client SALMON SUSHI (Real life story retold by D, who is acquainted with the poor GIRL who crawled out of bed to get sushi).
I've been a relationship manager. I quit because I just couldn't sell anything other than DCIs (currency-related structured product).
I couldn't sell structured bonds, mutual funds and other highly complicated structured products.
The concept and ROI structure of any instrument that I can't reproduce in writing without having to refer to the promotional material and factsheets, I don't sell.
If I have to memorize scripts to get the benefit of a certain product across, I don't sell.
Whenever my clients asked me enough questions to convince me that they have no idea that the things I was up-selling weren't merely fixed deposit accounts with very attractive interest rates (if such FD exists, I'll take my money out of my milo tin now and dump them all there), I moved on to my other prospects.
I wasn't in the business of EDUCATING my clients on investment matters and such. I was a salesperson. I sell. I don't care what the sales experts out there are saying about EDUCATING customers on what one's selling. If your customers know nothing about the product you want to sell them, either bring your business elsewhere, or make sure you give them a test at the end of the crash course you just rammed down their throat, and you don't sell to them unless they pass the test with flying colors.
Having said the above, I have to say that many people DO know what they are buying. But they will still come after you when their investment drop 0.01% in a day. You can make them sign a zillion forms - which I thought in it itself would be enough warning that they are NOT buying candies - and tell them a zillion times that returns is not guaranteed, and they would still breathe down your neck when they are not raking in 20 - 40% profits in a month.
These are people who are afraid to take responsibility for their own finances. They rely on others to make difficult decisions for them. When things go wrong, at least they have someone else to blame. Some resort to hounding their relationship managers until the bank offers them some sort of "goodies" as compensation.
*&%$%&*(#$&(!
I personally know many relationship managers who are good, honest people who invested in the products that they sell themselves. Some of them simply don't have the luxury of selling only products that they understand, because they are pressured to meet the quota set for the sale of a certain "flavor of the month". 2 months of not meeting your quota will invite some serious humiliation that's broadcast via the ever so efficient electronic memo, and 2 more months of underperformance should get you fired.
I had the choice to leave the system, because I don't have a family to feed.
For my male colleagues, they have expensive wives and children to maintain. If they leave their high paying job to explore other less lucrative ventures, they could lose their family.
This is the beginning of a very difficult time ahead. People will get uglier, and family bonds will weaken. Sad, but true. Singaporeans are practical people.
Money is indeed the root of all evil.
And the greenback is the MOST EVIL!!!
But I'm still going to trade the US market of course. I can't see the link between what I'm posting here with my trading activity. I'm not philosophical when it comes to trading. I'm not even patriotic.
Well, the best I can do is to keep SHORTING the NQ.
Ha.
Floyd Norris.
Or maybe just his article.
His attempt to paint a rosy picture of the current market crisis is distasteful, to say the least.
The one line in his seemingly well-researched and impartial entry (which really is just a piece of hypocritical BS) that really presses my buttons is this :
You will note that the United States is among the best performers. Don’t you feel better now?
Sure knows how to rub it in!
I love my country, although I really can't stand the weather, and the generally cowardly, selfish people that populate this island. Hence it pains me to see well-educated young men and women joining the unknowing elderly and the less investment-savvy in the suing of what has generally been accepted as our national bank, after it sold them structural Lehman Brother mini bonds that of course have become worthless today.
It's not news that banks do cross-selling and up-selling of products, and most are aware of the risk involved in putting their money into instruments that promise the POTENTIAL of giving you something that's more attractive than the miserable interest offered by fixed deposit accounts.
Relationship managers and other banking personnels have been blamed for unethical selling. Based on my observation, with the exception of a few, most are just doing their job.
I have seen blogs suggesting that their commissions be recalled, and I think that's just atrocious.
The reason that RMs are getting a commission is because they are doing jobs that many people won't do - including me.
Seriously, I'll rather do lowly manual work than to have to SELL, or get out of bed at an ungodly 3am to get my private banker boss' biggest client SALMON SUSHI (Real life story retold by D, who is acquainted with the poor GIRL who crawled out of bed to get sushi).
I've been a relationship manager. I quit because I just couldn't sell anything other than DCIs (currency-related structured product).
I couldn't sell structured bonds, mutual funds and other highly complicated structured products.
The concept and ROI structure of any instrument that I can't reproduce in writing without having to refer to the promotional material and factsheets, I don't sell.
If I have to memorize scripts to get the benefit of a certain product across, I don't sell.
Whenever my clients asked me enough questions to convince me that they have no idea that the things I was up-selling weren't merely fixed deposit accounts with very attractive interest rates (if such FD exists, I'll take my money out of my milo tin now and dump them all there), I moved on to my other prospects.
I wasn't in the business of EDUCATING my clients on investment matters and such. I was a salesperson. I sell. I don't care what the sales experts out there are saying about EDUCATING customers on what one's selling. If your customers know nothing about the product you want to sell them, either bring your business elsewhere, or make sure you give them a test at the end of the crash course you just rammed down their throat, and you don't sell to them unless they pass the test with flying colors.
Having said the above, I have to say that many people DO know what they are buying. But they will still come after you when their investment drop 0.01% in a day. You can make them sign a zillion forms - which I thought in it itself would be enough warning that they are NOT buying candies - and tell them a zillion times that returns is not guaranteed, and they would still breathe down your neck when they are not raking in 20 - 40% profits in a month.
These are people who are afraid to take responsibility for their own finances. They rely on others to make difficult decisions for them. When things go wrong, at least they have someone else to blame. Some resort to hounding their relationship managers until the bank offers them some sort of "goodies" as compensation.
*&%$%&*(#$&(!
I personally know many relationship managers who are good, honest people who invested in the products that they sell themselves. Some of them simply don't have the luxury of selling only products that they understand, because they are pressured to meet the quota set for the sale of a certain "flavor of the month". 2 months of not meeting your quota will invite some serious humiliation that's broadcast via the ever so efficient electronic memo, and 2 more months of underperformance should get you fired.
I had the choice to leave the system, because I don't have a family to feed.
For my male colleagues, they have expensive wives and children to maintain. If they leave their high paying job to explore other less lucrative ventures, they could lose their family.
This is the beginning of a very difficult time ahead. People will get uglier, and family bonds will weaken. Sad, but true. Singaporeans are practical people.
Money is indeed the root of all evil.
And the greenback is the MOST EVIL!!!
But I'm still going to trade the US market of course. I can't see the link between what I'm posting here with my trading activity. I'm not philosophical when it comes to trading. I'm not even patriotic.
Well, the best I can do is to keep SHORTING the NQ.
Ha.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Me, ME, ME!!!!!
2008 Oct 25
D's flown.
It's "ME" DAY!!!
WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, that's me wanting to take a pic of what Gary did to me - my hair, to be precise - this morning (to send to D)....never knew I can use my mirror this way....
I LOVE my new hair color!
Wonder if D's mum will too...
She's not going to like my nicotine addiction - that I'm sure.
Am I really going to have to go cold turkey for 3 days??
Damn!!!
D's flown.
It's "ME" DAY!!!
WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, that's me wanting to take a pic of what Gary did to me - my hair, to be precise - this morning (to send to D)....never knew I can use my mirror this way....
I LOVE my new hair color!
Wonder if D's mum will too...
She's not going to like my nicotine addiction - that I'm sure.
Am I really going to have to go cold turkey for 3 days??
Damn!!!
 |
| 1996 with Celeste |
 |
| 2005 - the year that I had too much chocolate.... |
 |
| 1996 |
 |
| 2006 |
 |
| The year that I was happy |
Friday, October 24, 2008
NQ Trades 10/24
That's it for the day. Not impressive, but my focus' not trading today.
Am giving D a nice massage, then help him to pack and keep him away from his workstation.
USD, D, And Female Traders
Just when everyone's waiting for the opening bell, I'm blogging.
Was having a smoke break with D moments ago, and we talked about our trading account, which is in USD.
I suggested we take half of it out, leaving us with more than enough for margin.
Selling it for Sing dollars.
Instant profits.
D blurted out that we no longer have the figure that I last knew about. A 4-figure drawdown. That's a few %. Which is actually not as bad as I thought. LOL.
D then commented that it seems I am a better trader than him.
I casually agreed.
D was amused.
I had to tell him that women actually make better traders.
That's a fact. LOL!!
Oh, I forced D to read Dr Brett's latest post: "Five Trading Behaviors I'm Seeing Among Traders Making Money Now" before he ventured into the market today.
GIRL POWER!!
Was having a smoke break with D moments ago, and we talked about our trading account, which is in USD.
I suggested we take half of it out, leaving us with more than enough for margin.
Selling it for Sing dollars.
Instant profits.
D blurted out that we no longer have the figure that I last knew about. A 4-figure drawdown. That's a few %. Which is actually not as bad as I thought. LOL.
D then commented that it seems I am a better trader than him.
I casually agreed.
D was amused.
I had to tell him that women actually make better traders.
That's a fact. LOL!!
Oh, I forced D to read Dr Brett's latest post: "Five Trading Behaviors I'm Seeing Among Traders Making Money Now" before he ventured into the market today.
GIRL POWER!!
FX Trades 10/24 (Closed All Positions) And USD/JPY
Closed all positions from 2 hours ago.
Reasons:
Profit: $328
Trading Log for 10/24:
Account Summary:
I'm REALLY tempted to short this - The USD/JPY
Reasons:
- SS turning up in bullish crossover
- 60 min candles look like they are forming hammers
- Distance of prices from their respective necklines is 3 times that of necklines from top of their HS. Don't want to stretch my luck for today
- Going out with D (on leave today to prepare for his trip to HK tmrw), and really don't want to have to worry about my open positions
Profit: $328
Trading Log for 10/24:
Account Summary:
I'm REALLY tempted to short this - The USD/JPY
I'm wondering: is the US beginning to sell their own currency after seeing its value being driven up (by those who snapped up their debt instruments??) steadily over the past months?
As far as I know, they DON'T actually like their currency strong (despite what they claim).
Well, they do owe a lot of people/countries A LOT of greenbacks...if only they can somehow find a way to pay back A LOT less....
But wait, do they still have anything in their reserve to sell?
If they don't, they can always print some, I guess.
Ok, I should stop analyzing the USD and anything else US. They totally confuse me.
Anyway, fundamentals aside, the USD's rally is a correction of 50% (on USD/JPY monthly chart) in a downtrend that began in mid July - about time it resumes its downward trend.
As far as I know, they DON'T actually like their currency strong (despite what they claim).
Well, they do owe a lot of people/countries A LOT of greenbacks...if only they can somehow find a way to pay back A LOT less....
But wait, do they still have anything in their reserve to sell?
If they don't, they can always print some, I guess.
Ok, I should stop analyzing the USD and anything else US. They totally confuse me.
Anyway, fundamentals aside, the USD's rally is a correction of 50% (on USD/JPY monthly chart) in a downtrend that began in mid July - about time it resumes its downward trend.
"Control" Basket of FX Pairs And New FX Trades 10/24
Simulated trading platform has now been used as "control" for me to keep track of a basket of selected fx pairs.
All positions were opened together with the real money trades yesterday at 12am EST.
From the time that I entered, all the pairs were showing me a loss.
By 3am EST, the loss for this "control" group was up to $1200 in total, with GBP/USD and EUR/JPY incurring the bulk of the loss.
Strangely, by the time US market opened, GBP/USD was the one that's making me the most money. It was a pity that this had to be the pair that I closed the earliest in my real money trade (at around 3am EST, 3 hours after I entered). GBP has been volatile.
The next pair I closed was EUR/USD.
I broke even eventually (well, not exactly, I made $1.07. Ha ha).
All the yen crosses were closed with a profit.
On FXGame, the basket's showing $2400 profit at 2:30am EST today (about half hour ago).
24 hours ago, it was $1200 in the red (that's the worst it did - lasted for a few minutes, then went back down to a range of -600 to -800, then basket started to show profit - albeit not impressive (300 - 600) - about an hour prior to US market open).
All 9 pairs in the simulated basket are 10,000 mini contracts.
In total, my position was less than a standard lot size.
90,000 units lot for a profit of $2400 in 26 hours; worst retracement came at a cost of $1200.
Gives me an idea of what my stop loss should be in future.
That said, it's premature at this point to determine what an ideal stop loss is for now.
A month (at least) of data collection is in order.
Update (12/17):
- Closed EUR/USD at loss of $1200 (EUR/USD has rallied up from bottom and is now above 20-year resistance at around 1.37).
- Closed AUD/USD at loss of $700
New real money positions opened at around 2:45am EST today:
Entered at limit and waited for order to be filled at "Ask" price.
Hur Hur Hur....
All positions were opened together with the real money trades yesterday at 12am EST.
From the time that I entered, all the pairs were showing me a loss.
By 3am EST, the loss for this "control" group was up to $1200 in total, with GBP/USD and EUR/JPY incurring the bulk of the loss.
Strangely, by the time US market opened, GBP/USD was the one that's making me the most money. It was a pity that this had to be the pair that I closed the earliest in my real money trade (at around 3am EST, 3 hours after I entered). GBP has been volatile.
The next pair I closed was EUR/USD.
I broke even eventually (well, not exactly, I made $1.07. Ha ha).
All the yen crosses were closed with a profit.
On FXGame, the basket's showing $2400 profit at 2:30am EST today (about half hour ago).
24 hours ago, it was $1200 in the red (that's the worst it did - lasted for a few minutes, then went back down to a range of -600 to -800, then basket started to show profit - albeit not impressive (300 - 600) - about an hour prior to US market open).
All 9 pairs in the simulated basket are 10,000 mini contracts.
In total, my position was less than a standard lot size.
90,000 units lot for a profit of $2400 in 26 hours; worst retracement came at a cost of $1200.
Gives me an idea of what my stop loss should be in future.
That said, it's premature at this point to determine what an ideal stop loss is for now.
A month (at least) of data collection is in order.
Update (12/17):
- Closed EUR/USD at loss of $1200 (EUR/USD has rallied up from bottom and is now above 20-year resistance at around 1.37).
- Closed AUD/USD at loss of $700
New real money positions opened at around 2:45am EST today:
Entered at limit and waited for order to be filled at "Ask" price.
Hur Hur Hur....
Thursday, October 23, 2008
NQ Trades 10/23
Another one of those crazy days where the candles of the 5 min chart are threaded onto the MAs like kebabs ready to be grilled:
Was paying more attention to the 30min chart to keep track of how much NQ had moved up / down (on a mildly crazy day, a near 40-50 point move is followed by an approximate 20-30 point retracement on the 30min chart).
Entry and exit totally based on what I was seeing on the tape (was using IB's BookTrader).
My eyes are seeing double now, so am calling it a day.
Was paying more attention to the 30min chart to keep track of how much NQ had moved up / down (on a mildly crazy day, a near 40-50 point move is followed by an approximate 20-30 point retracement on the 30min chart).
Entry and exit totally based on what I was seeing on the tape (was using IB's BookTrader).
My eyes are seeing double now, so am calling it a day.
FX Trades 10/23
New positions:
Slipped my mind to sell at "ask" price (I ALWAYS do that, and wait patiently to be filled).
Spread's terrible!
Slipped my mind to sell at "ask" price (I ALWAYS do that, and wait patiently to be filled).
Spread's terrible!
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